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I'm so far from what I wanna be

oh I really am my own worst enemy

please don't let me get the better of me

take this earthly thing and make it finally

something heavenly

I wanna be heavenly

If I try to soar, I will fall for sure

so let your grace break through

and lift me up upon it to be with you

downhere :: something heavenly

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Wow, we are already ten days into November. Usually I'd be excited about being in this month, but this time around, it seemed to have arrived before I was ready.

Increasingly, I'm finding it hard to breathe. My plate is getting fuller by the day and I feel like I'm about to drop it soon and lose it altogether. And my procrastination is definitely NOT helping so I'm loading up on self-loathing. Been down with fever the past week, and I've actually never recovered from post-vacay fatigue, what more when I've had to travel for work soon after I got back. Sigh~ But really, realizing that my complaints just PALE in comparison to the other bigger stuff that's happening doesn't make it better...

My thought is with the victims of super Typhoon Haiyan in the Philippines. It's feared to have taken 10k lives so far. 10k! :( I could only pray for relief and reprieve to come soon to the survivors. What does one even pray for during such a time? Was just thinking about the typhoon, and natural disasters, in general, and questioning why they happen. I mean, I get death resulting from human acts (wars, genocide, murder, etc.) - we attribute that to sin - but why didn't God create a world that's disaster-free? Don't we have enough to deal with? Feels kinda senseless. :(

My prayer is also with a dear friend C, who's been diagnosed with a rare condition of having cyst growth in her spine. I.. Gosh, I don't know. It was one of the worst news I've had to wake up to. She sounded okay when I spoke to her today, but she's had a grueling two days coming to terms with the news. She'll be seeing a neurologist to determine the next step. God, please, please, PLEASE let her be okay.

Lord, have mercy.

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[sigh]
I need words as wide as sky

I need a language large as this longing inside

and I need a voice bigger than mine

and I need a song to sing you that I've yet to find

I need you, oh, I need you I need you, oh, I need you

to be here now, to be here now

to hear me now, to hear me now

david crowder band :: I need words

This was the first song off the first album I own from the band. I didn't know their work prior to that, but before the song was over, I knew I would be a fan for life. Like many songs I love, this spoke for me when I couldn't, and it still does.

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I am curious about everything and nothing at all. // That was the driest piece of butter cake I've had in a while; I can't believe it was allowed to board; oh the travesty. // 1950s, Des Moines, Iowa. // Entertain me, Phantom. // Died and came back to life. The laptop is here to tell it all. // When Men Were Horses. // 1970s, peat swamps. // Clair de lune, Claude Debussy, "Music is the space between the notes." // Narrow the gap by one pixel. // Wish you were there, but no, I won't be alone. // An artist who doesn't draw, sing, write. // Cats, sigh. // Everything and nothing at all.

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Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. 

Rather, in humility lift others up above yourselves, 

not looking to your own interests 

but each of you to the interests of the others.

Philippians 2:3

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