packing order.

I dread packing for trips and I always do it last minute, and the minute would stretch into hours. But I guess the reward justifies the "pain" lol! But really, the more important decisions when going on vacay are which books to bring and what music to listen to, right? Right. :D

So I've narrowed my selection of books to three, one a biography of Indian-born, Canadian-American renown Christian apologist Ravi Zacharias, another a collection of articles that previously appeared in The New Yorker by English-Canadian author Malcolm Gladwell, and one mystery novel by British author Dorothy Sayers written in 1931. A pretty awesome mix there I'd say, from gender and genre to the authors' nationalities to even how I got hold of each book (J lent me RZ's book which incidentally went with her to Geneva last month, I'd say that this book is better traveled that I am!; I found MG's book at the bottom of my shelf with no recollection of having bought or borrowed it from anyone; and DS's book was from a book sale). These should keep me pretty occupied during the long transit.

So I've sync-ed my song playlist, and for the first time in my life, I'm going all out with stuff I've never heard before and some I'd never thought I would. This is a departure from my usual preference to go with something I've listened to a million times from the usual suspects (like how I listened to Leehom in my entire Melbourne trip). This time, I just want to break away from that habit, and I'll admit it's kinda unsettling but boo hoo. Every song is new (to me) and I've never known any one of them just a month ago.. and like my books, they cover quite a range, from Instrumental and Jazz to Pop, Rock, Soul and Rap (of course ;), and I have songs from the 70s, 90s, noughties, 2010's all the way up to some singles released not a month ago... I randomly downloaded some albums from the awesome free music site Noisetrade, and the rest from you-know-where-haha after reading music articles over the past couple of weeks. And while I'll tell you about every book I have or will read, I am pretty coy in sharing my playlist -- just chalk that up to another quirk of mine :D

So I've stuffed all my clothes and shoes and toiletries and lingerie and cosmetics and electronics in my new giant fuchsia luggage, and in my tote bag, I've got a book and iPod and passport and neck pillow and mint and cardigan and cash. I've got an awesome ten days ahead of me in an island not too far away, where I hope I'd bump into Leehom (who is in NY now, but 10 days is a long enough time for me to hope that he'd back to Tpe haha) and where I know my hubby is waiting for me, so..................

Taiwan, here I come again! :)

guilty pleasures.

I stumbled upon something Jon Foreman wrote back in 2010 which was tongue-in-cheek but hit the nail right on the head on the subject. In his article for Huff Post, Outside the Fences, he started off with:

Guilty Pleasures: the phrase alone implies a form of aesthetic righteousness. Your personal preferences (unique and subjective by definition), are kept in line by a higher standard of objective good (as defined by the community). The experts have agreed upon art that is right and superior. [..] Your joy is shameful; your pleasures are guilty. Scandalous even. [..] You have succumbed to your tasteless tastes: this is contraband art.

I suppose we feel the heat because in the court of "discerning" hoi polloi, we have been found guilty of liking something that's perceived as unsophisticated, uncultured or even crude. In fact, I'm not a defendant here, for I too have a seat on the judicial panel and I have my own standards of what's good and praiseworthy and what's not, and I exert the highest expectations on myself and sometimes others to adhere to and uphold those benchmarks and principles. And that, while being somewhat true (it's an ISFP trait), is also basically a bunch of bollocks. For who among us has not find joy reveling in some sort of lowbrow fun, be it smutty novels or questionable fashion choices or eyebrow-raising music taste? Hello!

Yesterday, J told me she was listening songs from That That, a defunct 90s English pop boy band, and she was "smiling [and] laughing like an idiot, thinking back on my adolescent craze" and having "goosebumps from the CHEESINNESSSSS", but how she "pored over them, every cassette tape, poster, magazine, video tape.. their voices not even good! except for Robbie Williams". Lol, what a load of cheese AND corn we use to consume right?

He looked exactly like this 20 years ago.

So last night I was inspired by that to look up my first celeb crush who inspired me to pick up Mandarin: Jimmy Lin. I tended to avoid talking about him for the longest time because I felt my joy was "shameful" as per Jon's words, but it's been 20 years, we've all moved on. Man, 20 years! And the dude looked like he hasn't aged a day! Haha, the same goes to LH and Em and everyone who hit jackpot with their gene pool. 

Anyway, I searched YouTube for the first song I knew from him: 今年夏天 (lit. This Year's Summer) from his sophomore album which launched his singing career, Summer of '92. I don't remember how I knew of him, but I remember going to the music shop and buying the cassette. It might have been one of the first albums, if not the first, I owned. I'd just became a teenager and he was this super cute 17 years old 陽光男孩 (lit. sunshine boy) and I developed the hugest crush for him lol!

And yes, the songs were cheesy and the lines so corny and the tunes so sappy and the feel so 90s and his voice could use more lessons, but the flood of nostalgia swept me away back to my awkward pimply-faced years like no time machine could. I'm amazed I could still sing along to some of the songs. Being a lyrics person that I was and still am, it bugged me back then that I didn't know what I was singing. So I painstakingly copied every word from the lyrics sleeve and approached my mom many times over for its meaning and how to read it. I didn't dare to show her the source of those words because I knew she wouldn't approve (not because of who it was, but because a cassette would have been deemed a frivolous purchase and my parents frown upon such).

It was tiresome at first because I didn't know most of the words, which meant I would have probably written down most if not all of the lyrics, but copying each character really helped in catching and recognizing it. I suppose by his third or fourth album, I didn't have to go to my mom that frequently, but I think it was around the first or second album when she asked me, "Where are these words from? Did someone send you a love letter??" LOL! I was incredulous at first because it never crossed my mind that it could appear as such, but really, it was word after word from sappy love songs.... can't fault her for her 1+1. She must be relieved to know that I was just learning to read words to sing along. Hehe!

This is an old pic, but cld pass off as current.

I also remember having a lyrics book where I'd translate all his songs into pinyin so that it's easier for me to sing along. That book was my pride. It also helped that he released one to two albums a year to remain relevant so there was always something new to look forward to (many pop artists still do, which erm, kinda say something about the quality of the songs/production *cough*). And then there were the magazines and posters and photos... we had no YouTube, no celeb gossip websites, no instant access to the latest news, and I had no English content to pour over, but these are mere bumps to a determined fan in her track. I also had a ring file of all the articles from magazines and newspapers I could get my hand on (they were all in Chinese) to keep up with everything Jimmy.

So yeah, that was my foray into fangirling, and it was really quite a thrilling ride. After a few years, he went into Taiwan's compulsory military training for its youth and was out of the media spotlight for a couple of years which was long enough for wean me myself off him. I never got back on the ride after he made a comeback, but I don't think anyone took his place in terms of having me pour in the kind of energy and time, until Leehom came along last year when I was reigniting my desire to learn Chinese. Interestingly, Leehom started his entertainment career only about 3-4 years after Jimmy, but I only took notice of him some 17 years later. I guess I'm not an early adopter. Haha!

Mm, Leehomania has died down quite a bit now that Em's in the picture, but I did learn a number of new Chinese characters over the course of 18 months (thereabout) so it was time well-spent. Well, with Leehom's new album underway, I suppose there's still room to absorb more. And if you're wondering if Em's influenced me in any way, he did, for my writing.. you may or may not have noticed that my recent posts are lengthier, where I also try to inject more assonance into my prose.

The answer is yes, as in yes it would kill him to smile. 

Speaking of Leehom, I'm building up really high expectations for his upcoming album and I'm worried I'm setting myself up for disappointment. It's his first album after he went independent of Sony, his previous label for the longest time, which means he has full control of the kinda songs he wants to put out. I could only hope that means fresh and new sounds, and fewer corny ballads (I know he still needs to have those to satiate market demand, but please Leehom, please let them be good). And I don't know if this is asking for too much, I hope the lyrical content of the album are also of a higher standard and covers a broader perspective of life than just the romantic aspect of it. You can see why I could be setting myself up to be let down, but I'll give him the benefit of doubt. And speaking of album, Em's eighth studio effort, The Marshall Mathers LP 2, is set to be in store on Nov 5 (yes, my calendar's marked :) No news on the release date of LH's album yet.

So yeah, guilty pleasures. They add such wonderful swirls of colours into one's life, so how could we not love them? So let's just go ahead and indulge sans guilt. We can save the condemnation for things that are actually hurtful or harmful. Cheers!

offloading.

Ahh the weather just screams "blog something!".. okay, not screaming, just gently suggesting. It's gloomy and gray outside and I could see a light drizzle but I'm lovin' it. Okay, let's get to it.

I've been thinking, the past four years (roughly 2010 onward) felt like it has only been just one year. You know how I always lament that time passes by so quickly, I suppose the past 1,460 days felt exactly right as a year and not four. Memory-wise at least, everything seems so recent. It's like I've just joined the company, I've just left my old church, I've just grown closer to my present group of friends... I suppose the birth of this blog back then marked the beginning of that "new year", and when I read back the entries, they didn't seem like it was another lifetime ago.

Maybe the leap year is there for the reason that it signifies a complete cycle, that each one should consist of four trips around the sun instead of one. Maybe time isn't linear as how we usually measure it, but something more dynamic and differs from one individual to another but we use standard time-keeping so that we could be on the same page. And this change only starts once you hit 30. So by that measure, I'm 31 going on 32, which is exactly how old I feel. I love it how pieces of puzzles like these make perfect logic-defying sense in my head. Haha!

I've also wondered if I'm going through some sort of midlife crisis. I'm 35 (in conventional year *cough*) this year, right about the halfway mark to 70 which is how long I expect to live. So yeah, like some people who go through MLC with a new sports car and a younger wife, I seek other forms of excitement.. like, I never expected to like Chinese pop music, but I went crazy over Leehom which made me a happy bunny for a good long time. And I certainly never in a million years would have expected to be a fan of Eminem, no more than I would have expected myself to ever like K-pop (it hasn't happen yet, but at the rate things are going, who knows!). Maybe I like that he's so far removed from my world but here I am, probably close to exhausting all online links with his name and trying to talk myself out of the crush (yes) by constantly questioning myself and slowly expanding my base to other hip hop artists.

But just as it was with every other musician or band or singer that I like, I don't go very far off base. I will check out their peers who are of equal standing if not more superior (like how I checked out Jay Chou for Leehom), but my loyalty and connection are already sealed with that one entity in that given space and time. I find it impossible to rank the musicians/bands/singers I like (and by these I mean the ones I was really into, where I've heard their entire catalog of songs, not the ones where I just like one or a few songs).. I feel a deep connection with each of them, and each is different from the other because I relate and bond with them at different season of my life.. so even if I don't listen to them very often now, their importance doesn't fade and I can instantly feel the same fervency when I hear any of their songs. And this journey, I must say that I'm thrilled (and perhaps a little wary) of what's going on, but I will ride the wave out.

You know, there was this line from Em's latest song that struck a chord with me, when he rapped, "Say f--- it before we kick the bucket, life's too short to not go for broke." Not that I want to be reckless, but I've been thinking about that a while now and have been wondering what that means for me. I've always felt that I'm holding back, perhaps stemming from a strong need to feel that I'm in control. I also feel like I've been waiting a long time for something but I have no idea if whatever that is is coming or not. I still feel that I'm living a lot for myself, and of course I'm fine with it, but I'm just not sure if.. Hmm, maybe I'll just continue waiting. It's a good place to be, I won't deny that, but I'm just hoping I'm not missing the boat or bus or train or flight to wherever I'm supposed to go.

Anyway, I don't know how long or how deep I would be wading in these waters, but I wish I had discovered it earlier! I really love the wordplay and verbosity afforded by hip hop. There's so much more room to tell a story or to express one's thoughts and feelings. And to have the stories in rhymes, now that's music to my ear. I just think it takes mad skills to spit a string of cohesive rhyme so I'm practically awestruck over and over again. And the raw honesty is definitely a major pull factor for me. And yes, I'm all too aware of and will not deny the violent/misogynistic/offensive aspects found in rap songs but hey, it's not confined to this genre. Summer song darlin' Robin Thicke's Blurred Lines is a wolf in sheep's clothing, which is worse.. so yeah, I'm navigating with caution, and I believe my friends will keep me in check too. At this point, I'm just enjoying rapping as a sublime art form. Bleh, I think my endurance for coarse language is stronger now (thanks but no thanks, Em).

Moving on, I find reading my personality description to be such a relief most times. It assures me that I'm not weird (or at least if I was, that I'm not the only one). True to my ISFP character which is described as being "intense people who experience their emotions on an intense level. Although they may appear to be light-hearted, they are in fact extremely serious, and take their relationships seriously", I experience very strong, almost overwhelming, emotions that I feel like I have no control over (e.g. as shown in my response to my favorite music). It's like there's a giant magnifying glass and my emotions are like the sunlight going through it and hitting one spot that is me. I am averse to being run over by emotions and yet I still experience it through and through. This is what I mean when I feel like I'm driving myself insane. I hit very high highs where I feel like I could take on the world. Like the haiku that I wrote, I cannot begin to describe the level of satisfaction and pride and contentment and depth that I felt when those words were formed, first in my heads as fragmented description of what I was feeling and scattered pieces of what I was thinking about, and later when I manage to collect and have them materialise as typed words. In those three lines and 14 syllables was captured my entire state of being at that moment in time, and to have it down in written words is just so... so good. But that all those feelings could be so consuming and amplified to the point where I think I might implode. And then when I snap out of the stupor, I'll be staring at those three lines and 14 syllables and not being able to imagine anyone else seeing them beyond that. Have I unwittingly convinced you that I need to be institutionalised? Hehe!

Also, we ISFPs are also said to "may have a problem with communication. With Introverted Feeling dominating their personality, they are more vulnerable than most to being hurt. Perhaps because of this, they tend to hold back part of themselves from others, and do not always say what they think or feel. This is especially true during conflict situations, which the ISFP abhors more than anything in the world. Confrontations and arguments are very difficult for the ISFP to deal with. They feel personally threatened in these situations." I told you that I hold myself back. Mm, since this is part of my character, I wonder if I could break out of it. And yes, no conflict please, can we all just get along, here have some cornflakes kthnxbai.

Anyways, I'm done writing for now. Just want to get some stuff off my chest. I love this blog for this very reason! *breathes normal again*

collapsible lung

This is a good, nay, GREAT year, and I say that because most of my favorite bands and singers have been or are releasing new albums! OH JOYYYYYYY!!!! :D

I've just downloaded Relient K's Collapsible Lung, which is my third full album purchase this year, after Khalil Fong's Back to Wonderland and David Tao's recent Hello Goodbye.

I don't really need to say that I love this album right? I'm a good if not die-hard fan.. so of course it's good hahaha! But really, I'm lovin' the upbeat melodies of Don't Blink, Lost Boy, Collapsible Lung and That's My Jam (all of which were previously released on youtube). And everything else are sounding good too. ^_^ I haven't checked the lyrics yet, so I could be wrong in saying that some of the witticism and word play they are known for aren't so prominent this time around (first impression). Mattie has always have a way with words which was how I got hooked with a punk rock band that has apparently gone pop (M has said that their next album will be rock if not punk rock :) I've also read that songs that reflect their Christian faith are not found, so I thought that's quite a bummer cos those that they have written have always been my favorites :(

With that too, I can't shake off the sadness for the departure of their drummer EL right before the album was released, and the news of the other two members (bassist JW and guitarist JS) not joining in the tour. I don't know what that's all about, and maybe in not knowing I tend to imagine the worst. M, this had better not be your doing! :(

anyways, after this, I'll be anticipating Switchfoot's Fading West which is coming out soon (there's an album AND a movie, omg so much awesomeness!) and Leehom's in the studio between his movie takes recording for a new album. this fangirl cannot ask for moar.. MOARRRRR!! hehehe.. sorry for my state of delirium.. wait, I'm not sorry. I'm soooo excited I can't sit still.

a good year indeed.


#update: love the pop rock tunes, but the lyrics quality leaves much to be desired. i think M could do so, so much better. because he has done it before. i am disappoint. i'm enjoying the album without listening to the words. which isn't cool in my book. not cool at all. :(

fading west.

From the shore, the ocean is forever; it's a beautiful, dangerous place. The music is tied to the sea, born from the struggle, looking for hope, because hope belongs in the dark places.

...

I want our songs to be the songs that open the doors of the soul, to look at a story bigger than ourselves.

:: Jon Foreman

the bright side #4

I don't know if I have shared this before.. it's from a long time ago. I would find it very hard to grapple with this kind of loss. And I would like to think that friendship is one of the most amazing gifts we could ever receive in life.

#829 Smiling and thinking of good friends who are gone

So I came across this quote again today from S's FB note, which I think fit so well with that post. I don't remember having read it before, but I saw my 'Like' so I guess I did. :P

“When you remember me, it means that you have carried something of who I am with you, that I have left some mark of who I am on who you are. It means that you can summon me back to your mind even though countless years and miles may stand between us. It means that if we meet again, you will know me. It means that even after I die, you can still see my face and hear my voice and speak to me in your heart.

For as long as you remember me, I am never entirely lost. When I'm feeling most ghost-like, it is your remembering me that helps remind me that I actually exist. When I'm feeling sad, it's my consolation. When I'm feeling happy, it's part of why I feel that way.

If you forget me, one of the ways I remember who I am will be gone. If you forget, part of who I am will be gone. "Jesus, remember me when you come into your kingdom." the good thief said from his cross (Luke 23:42). There are perhaps no more human words in all of Scripture, no prayer we can pray so well.”

- Frederick Buechner, American writer and theologian -

*******

The level of awesomeness is this video is astronomical (pun very much intended)! It's recorded by Commander Chris Hadfield on board the International Space Station, who did a revised version of David Bowie's Space Oddity. From a SPACE STATION. Srsly, I think the fact that this video exists is just mind blowing. Like, WOW.

Check out the original version by David Bowie here. Check out xkcd's take on this, which btw was how I got to know about the vid. And oh, one of my fav bits from that write-up was this tidbit:

The Larrivée Parlor acoustic guitar in the video went up years ago on the Space Shuttle, and astronauts have been playing it ever since. Given that launch costs at the time were between $20,000 and $30,000 per pound, the cost to send up the guitar was probably in the neighborhood of $75,000.

******* 

A capella artist, Yeo Inhyeok, does another amazing cover, this time of Michael Jackson's Bad. The very thought that our humble vocal chords could produce something so complicated (computer technology notwithstanding) is just astounding. How do they do this?!

coursing through my veins

my aimless lazy Sunday afternoon was saved by a call. Lil called me at 1.30pm asking if i was free then. I said I was, and she asked if I was interested in attending a show at MPO cos she has a free tic (her friend couldn't make it last min). FREE + MPO = sounds good! I agreed without even asking what the show was! Since the show was at 3, I quickly washed up and got to the Box Office in time to wait for Lil and her friend. I picked up a brochure, just to see what I got myself into (pic below). Oooh ahhhh.. :P

We caught this show. Fitz-Gerald was really engaging and funny as a conductor. Ellington was smooth and superb .

And I fell in love the moment I walked into the hall.And till the end of the show two hours later, I felt so much joy just bubbling over in my tummy. I don't remember the entire set list, but the ones I liked most are the ones I've heard before: Bernstein's theme song for The Magnificent Seven (a.k.a. the Marlboro song hehe..), Henry Mancini's Moon River (Breakfast at Tiffany), As Time Goes By (Casablanca), You'll Be in My Heart (Tarzan), Tan Dun's A Love Before Time (Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon), John William's Jaws theme song...

Throughout, my eyes swept the sight from left to right and left again, just mesmerised by the synchronous fiddles over the violins and cellos and double basses, and my ears trying not to miss the sounds from the harp and piano and trumpets and percussion and other instruments I couldn't name.. I tried to close my eyes to enjoy the show but I felt like I would be depriving myself of a visual feast. But I did, for one say. You could say all in all, I was very engaged. Haha truly a wide-eyed bushy-tailed n00b!

Ya know, the only other time I've seen an orchestra was at another free event back in... 2006? It was a youth jazz orchestra from.. I can't remember where, but it was the same exhilaration that I felt. Just amazing! With that, therefore, I cannot justify why I have not been to more shows! I am ashamed to admit that Sunday was my first show at the MPO. Having worked at KLCC for the past three plus years and never having stepped foot into the Philharmonic hall.. PREPOSTEROUS, I say! Haha.. Hope to make up for the discrepancy soon.. ^_^

I took this pic before I was told that it was prohibited to do so. Oops! ;) When I walked in to this, I felt like floating already -- there was an instant connection to the sight and sounds. Sigh.