for you, a thousand times over!

Upon noticing my colleague's new Skype status this morning...

48 sticks of goodness

I don't know if this was a frivolous buy, I don't know what I would do with them, I don't know how I would fare in this medium. I don't know a lot of things but of this I'm sure, that just on their own, they cause such giddiness in my heart! ^_^ Oh soo pwetty.

“Why do two colors, put one next to the other, sing? Can one really explain this? No. Just as one can never learn how to paint.”
― Pablo Picasso

on friendship.

I found this gem of a quote by C.S Lewis in the Draft folder of my old blog (don't ask why I was poking around there hehe). I don't know why it never saw the light of the day; perhaps it was just waiting for now. I am thankful every day for the gift of friendships I'm so richly blessed with and would like to dedicate this to you who I call friend and kindred spirit..

To the ancients, friendship seemed the happiest and most fully human of all loves; the crown of life and the school of virtue, the modern world, in comparison, ignores it. How has this come about?

The first and most obvious answer is that few value it because few experience it. Friendship is, in a sense not at all derogatory to it, the least natural of loves; the least instinctive, organic, biological, gregarious and necessary.. without Eros none of us would have been begotten, and without affection, none of us would have been reared; but we can live and breed without friendship. The species, biologically considered, has no need of it..

In some ways, nothing is less like a friendship than a love affair.. Above all, Eros (while it lasts) is necessarily between two only. But two, far from being the necessarily number for friendship, is not even the best. Two friends delight to be joined by a third, and three by a fourth, if only the newcomer is qualified to become a real friend.

Of course the scarcity of kindred souls sets the limit to the enlargement of the circle; but within those limits we possess each friend not less but more as the number of those with whom we share him increases. In this friendship exhibits a glorious 'nearness by resemblance' to heaven itself where the multitude of the blessed increases the fruition which each has of God. For every soul, seeing him in her own way, doubtless communicates that unique vision to all the rest.

That, says an old author, is why the seraphim in Isaiah's vision are crying "holy, holy, holy" to one another (Isa 6:3).

- C.S. Lewis, The Four Loves

Alice.

I love me a serendipitous find, and I love that I found Alice. I love how it sounds ethereal and poignant at the same time, like a beautiful sadness of sort.. and the words evokes a kind of wistfulness that I can't quite put my finger on, so yeah, this has been driving me blithely loopy this whole week.

I'm not sure if the title is based on Alice in Wonderland (there's a footnote in the video description that indicates such, but I don't know if it was just an opinion or if the author meant it that way) but I was drawn to the video by the name alone.. Growing up, AiW was one of my fav books, and even though I pretended to get flustered when people teased me by that name, I've always felt an affinity to it. I don't suppose this song has to do with her though, the lyrics tell of a different story, and based on the author's description about the song, it's something like this:

There are two of them, let's call them A (girl) and B (boy). It's a song from B's point of view, who's keeping an eye on A. I don't know if A realized B's feelings. They are always together, helping or counting on each other when facing troubles, but somehow they are not able to be in love with each other. And B did reckless things, and lost many things.—

Such is the story. I think that there are many people who have experienced this in them. And if you heard a sigh in this song, it means you have an experience which had passed your own happy summer.

Make what you want of that. Btw if you think that the singer sounds like a robot, it's because she is. The singer, Hatsune Miku (初音ミク), according to wiki "is a humanoid persona voiced by a singing synthesizer application developed by Crypton Future Media, headquartered in Sapporo city..." And she is personified as a 16-year-old girl with long turquoise pigtails, like this ----------------------------->

I think she's cute and I could see her appeal and if I had the chance I would like to attend one of her concerts (yes) just for the kick of it. I like robot machine android thingamagic. What's not to like about them? Predictable, efficient, objective, cold as iced cola on a hot sunny day what? Hmm, I think it's the same reasons I like cities. Blocks after blocks of dour, stately facades with a million stories behind their walls. Err what? And I can't explain this, but it's also why I'm for Germany this World Cup. Haha, let's move on before I lose you completely.

S said something yesterday that almost got me saying YES! out loud - "Sometimes I think my heart will burst from having too much feels." That's my exact thought, esp every time I ber-emo and ber-drama. How I wish I were a robot sometimes! I don't trust emotions too much cos I've seen the damage they could inflict and yet I'm brimming to the rim with so much feels I don't know what to do with them! If only it's transferable, I think the hub could use with a good dose =) But how terribly dull life would be without a good shot of zealous passion every now and then kan? I think I'll take leave now, right after I say amen! to Adam's quote below. =)

#WiseOwl Wednesday. pic.twitter.com/6JEkwxoykW
— Owl City (@owlcity) July 2, 2014

Romaji Toi, toi, waraenai hanashi Itsuka, boku ga inakunatta nara Fukai, fukai mori ni ochita Kimi wa hitori de yukundaze Tsunaida te ni wa yawaraka na taion Nigitta yubi ga yururi, hodoketara Kareta neiro no kane ga naru Kimi wa hitori de yukundaze Sono mama futari ayunde hitori Usotsuku koe mo mou taedae ni Utsumuki futari kage ga hitotsu Boku mo hitori de yukundaze? Kimi wa awai koi ni ochita Takai takai gake ni saku hana "Todokanai naa." Wakatteru kuse ni Kondo wa hitori de yukundaze Toi, toi, waraenai hanashi Itsuka, boku ga inakunatta nara Fukai, fukai mori ni ochita Kimi wa hitori de yukundaze Sore kara hitori aruite hitori Usotsuku koto mo mou tsukareta. Utsumuki hitori kogane no heya Kimi to futari de itandaze Boku wa fukai mori ni ochita. Kuroku susukete yogoreta kajitsu Sore de owari sore dake no hanashi Kimi wa hitori de yukundaze

English A long, long time ago, in a tragedy If ever comes a day that I go away Deeper and deeper into the forest I'll fall From that moment on, you’ll go alone Feeling a warm temperature in the hands we hold If ever comes a day they gently unfold A dry bell will sound echoing on its own From that moment on, you’ll go alone For we are two of a kind, when we walk, we are one The sound lies being told disappear like the sun And now we both bow our heads, only a single shadow Didn’t you know that I was also going alone? You fell into love of a gentle kind With a flower on top of a high, high cliff “It’s so hard to reach”, I know you know So this time, you’ll have to go alone A long, long time ago, in a tragedy If ever comes a day that I go away Deeper and deeper into the forest I'll fall From that moment on, you’ll go alone And I am one of a kind, when I walk, I am alone I’ve grown weary of lying to the bone Now I bow my head in this golden room I was here with you, and now it’s gone too soon In a forest deep, I sank and I knew I’m a charred and dirty forsaken fruit And that is the end, there’s nothing more to recount From this moment on, you’ll go alone

I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel. -Maya Angelou

I would like to think that I strive to do that... at least with the people I love and care about... sometimes. Argh, I started the day chirpy and high, but passing through a low phase now. Come and calm these raging seas.

Declined to explore a career opportunity today. Feels like it isn't time yet. Ranted about Miss Nomer (lol yes, still beating that dead horse, for fun) last night to a bunch of strangers. "One thing that got to me was I felt like she has derailed my career path". As soon as those words left my mouth, I realised that it was time to stop using that as an excuse. And one of them, a twice-failed start-up entrepreneur told me that I shouldn't let that past stop me from trying out. I already knew that but I really appreciated it. And to him I said, Third time will be a charm. Mark my words. *big smile* I truly believed that for him and hope that it'd encouraged him a little.



Medic - Come Close

Come close to me, let everything fall away
Take me now to secret places deep inside my heart
Come close to me, come and calm these raging seas
I'm feeling dry and weary but you said you're all i need

Love, do you believe in me?
I find it so hard to see you here, I find it so hard to see
You know, you know, you know
I've been circling round these creeping doubts
But i know that you can save me now
I know that you can save me

Time has got ahold of me, these bones are breaking but this heart will be
Hearing every promise made to me of what is yet to come
I'll break these ties belief is everything I recognize
To light the fire caught inside our eyes
We'll be the ones in time

pretty much sums it up.

[via]

timeless.

“Try to imagine a life without timekeeping.

You probably can’t. You know the month, the year, the day of the week. There is a clock on your wall or the dashboard of your car. You have a schedule, a calendar, a time for dinner or a movie.

Yet all around you, timekeeping is ignored. Birds are not late. A dog does not check its watch. Deer do not fret over passing birthdays.

Man alone measures time. Man alone chimes the hour. And, because of this, man alone suffers a paralyzing fear that no other creature endures. A fear of time running out.”

― Mitch Albom, The Time Keeper

[via]

I find the quotation somewhat liberating, for I often find myself lamenting about age and achievement (or rather, my lack of), being constantly reminded of how time passing us by, and very much hypnotised and held captive by the tick-tocks of my bio-clock. what if the next thing I know is waking up to myself old and wrinkly and 80? but really, why should I fear it? I think I'm a closet worrier, that even myself am often oblivious that I'm one. is that possible?

on the other hand, time is running... I truly believe that the return of Jesus is imminent, and like every generation of believers before me, I hope in terror to see it happen in my lifetime.

[via]

Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. 

Rather, in humility lift others up above yourselves, 

not looking to your own interests 

but each of you to the interests of the others.

Philippians 2:3

fading west.

From the shore, the ocean is forever; it's a beautiful, dangerous place. The music is tied to the sea, born from the struggle, looking for hope, because hope belongs in the dark places.

...

I want our songs to be the songs that open the doors of the soul, to look at a story bigger than ourselves.

:: Jon Foreman

brb.

After silence, that which comes nearest to expressing the inexpressible is music.
- Aldous Huxley (via David Crowder)

I've had quite a bit of the latter here lately, which is naturally pretty awesome, but I'm taking a quick break to pursue the former. I'll leave you with this, Khalil Fong's wonderful cover of Faye Wong's 紅豆 Red Bean.



brb+xoxo+hello, june. 

invincible.

In the midst of hate, I found there was, within me, an invincible love.
In the midst of tears, I found there was, within me, an invincible smile.
In the midst of chaos, I found there was, within me, an invincible calm.
I realized, through it all, that…
In the midst of winter, I found there was, within me, an invincible summer.

And that makes me happy. For it says that no matter how hard the world pushes against me, within me, there’s something stronger – something better, pushing right back.

Falsely yours,
Albert Camus

[via]

the bright side #4

I don't know if I have shared this before.. it's from a long time ago. I would find it very hard to grapple with this kind of loss. And I would like to think that friendship is one of the most amazing gifts we could ever receive in life.

#829 Smiling and thinking of good friends who are gone

So I came across this quote again today from S's FB note, which I think fit so well with that post. I don't remember having read it before, but I saw my 'Like' so I guess I did. :P

“When you remember me, it means that you have carried something of who I am with you, that I have left some mark of who I am on who you are. It means that you can summon me back to your mind even though countless years and miles may stand between us. It means that if we meet again, you will know me. It means that even after I die, you can still see my face and hear my voice and speak to me in your heart.

For as long as you remember me, I am never entirely lost. When I'm feeling most ghost-like, it is your remembering me that helps remind me that I actually exist. When I'm feeling sad, it's my consolation. When I'm feeling happy, it's part of why I feel that way.

If you forget me, one of the ways I remember who I am will be gone. If you forget, part of who I am will be gone. "Jesus, remember me when you come into your kingdom." the good thief said from his cross (Luke 23:42). There are perhaps no more human words in all of Scripture, no prayer we can pray so well.”

- Frederick Buechner, American writer and theologian -

*******

The level of awesomeness is this video is astronomical (pun very much intended)! It's recorded by Commander Chris Hadfield on board the International Space Station, who did a revised version of David Bowie's Space Oddity. From a SPACE STATION. Srsly, I think the fact that this video exists is just mind blowing. Like, WOW.

Check out the original version by David Bowie here. Check out xkcd's take on this, which btw was how I got to know about the vid. And oh, one of my fav bits from that write-up was this tidbit:

The Larrivée Parlor acoustic guitar in the video went up years ago on the Space Shuttle, and astronauts have been playing it ever since. Given that launch costs at the time were between $20,000 and $30,000 per pound, the cost to send up the guitar was probably in the neighborhood of $75,000.

******* 

A capella artist, Yeo Inhyeok, does another amazing cover, this time of Michael Jackson's Bad. The very thought that our humble vocal chords could produce something so complicated (computer technology notwithstanding) is just astounding. How do they do this?!

so me, so now.

"My soul is impatient with itself, as with a bothersome child; its restlessness keeps growing and is forever the same. Everything interests me, but nothing holds me. I attend to everything, dreaming all the while. […] I'm two, and both keep their distance — Siamese twins that aren't attached."

:: Fernando Pessoa, The Book of Disquiet

click* click* click* click* click* click* click* click*

something beautiful, something kind

I know I'm supposed to be sleeping, but I've just finished my work for today, and I WANT to end the day doing something I really like, like writing this :P Okay, I'm not writing much, because I don't have to. He actually beat me to this---I had wanted to blog about the person who is the subject of the post earlier, but haven't found the angle. But 'sokay, how many times could I actually say that "Leehom has done the job for me"? Hehehe.. So yeah, I'm just gonna plug the entire post here:

王力宏 Wang Leehom
I made an inspiring friend last week. Her name is Yvonne Foong, and she has neurofibromatosis, a genetic illness with no known cure, which has left her completely deaf. It's rare for a deaf person to come to one of my concerts, so I was fascinated to hear what she had to say after the show. She told me that eight years ago, when she had her hearing, she saw me perform live. Now, with no hearing at all, she could still "hear" the concert, but with all of her other senses. She excitedly described the show to me, in vivid detail. It was amazing for me to hear her go on and on, obviously moved by the music, having heard not a single note.

It made me think of Beethoven, one of the greatest musicians of all time, who wrote some of the most celebrated music in history, while completely deaf. It's incredible to think that his music, which millions know and love, was never even once heard by its composer. Yet there's no doubt Beethoven, like Yvonne, could still "hear" with all his other senses, and profoundly, at that.

When a tree falls in the woods and no one hears it, does it make a sound? People have debated this cliché question for centuries. Some say no, that sound must be perceived in order to exist. Some say yes, that sound doesn't have to be heard to exist. The argument is interesting because, either way, how can you prove it when no one heard it? But can music exist when the notes are inaudible? Is there something more to music than sound waves with varying amplitudes and frequencies?

One of my favorite musicians, Leonard Bernstein, would have us think so. Toward the end of his life, he wrote:

In the beginning was the note,
And the note was with God.
And whosoever can reach that note,
Reach high and bring it back to us on earth,
To our earthly ears…
Partakes of the divine.

I don't know if anyone can prove or disprove that Yvonne heard my concert, but when I met her that night backstage in Malaysia, looked into her eyes and saw her excitement, I had my answer. And I want to thank her for reminding me that music goes beyond sound waves, and is not a tree falling in the woods. Thank you for reminding me that Bernstein was right, music comes from the divine, and what a blessing it is to reach higher and higher, reaching to bring those notes down to earth.

Read Yvonne's blogpost here.
Support her foundation here.

Her story was really inspiring and I was touched by what she's been through, and also the kind gesture of her friend and the fan club people to arrange for this. I'm happy that of all people she got to met him, and I think it was really nice of him to have spent the time with her after his exhausting 2.5 hour concert (he has done something similar before this---in another post-concert clip I've seen before, he went to say Hi to a group of cancer-stricken kids who were at his concert courtesy of Lovelife---the charity organisation founded by his best bud Blackie)... :)

And that quote attributed to Leonard Bernstein---I love it! It's so beautiful and what I imagine good art is all about---divine, a gift, to be shared, inspiring, thought-provoking, uplifting. It reminds me of this other quote I saw floating about recently, which I agree with. This is a subject somewhat close to my heart, and maybe one day I'd have enough substance to actually write about it.

For now, I'm going bed happy. Good night, folks.

• quote of the day:

In frustration, C.S. Lewis once asked Tolkien “What class of men would you expect to be most preoccupied with, and most hostile to, the idea of escape?” Tolkien answered: “Jailers.”

• ooh i made payment for Lee Hom's concert in Genting! as the prices of the tickets are reaaaally expensive, i'm only getting the second cheapest and that is already RM290 (it goes allllll the way up to RM1k. for that price, methinks the ticket holder should get to keep him! -_-) srsly, how do i not feel like i'm being fleeced! argh. but but but.... I am so excited! it's another four months away... i don't hope for it to come so soon. i don't want the first quarter of 2013 to end. but at least it would end with a bang! *fangirl squeals* [note: i made a pre-booking for the tix via the fan club, which gives me a better-than-nothing 5% discount on the tickets. *small cheer*]

• speaking of him, Lee Hom has a new song called 十二生肖 (lit. 12 Zodiac) out this Friday. he posted a 30-second teaser which can be heard here. my take on it? I kinda like it but it's too short to conclude. i'm happy it's not a ballad! hehehe.. it appears to be the theme song to Jackie Chan's 101st and purportedly last movie before he retires, Chinese Zodiac. here's the trailer for the movie which will be out on 12.12.12, a date as auspicious as it could get.

“To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly broken.

If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one, not even to an animal.

Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness.

But in that casket – safe, dark, motionless, airless – it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable.”

:: C. S. Lewis

"I was watching BET one night, and they were interviewing a man about jazz music. He said jazz music was invented by the first generation out of slavery. I thought that was beautiful because, while it is music, it is very hard to put on paper; it is so much more a language of the soul …

The first generation out of slavery invented jazz music. It is a music birthed out of freedom. And that is the closest thing I know to Christian spirituality. A music birthed out of freedom. Everybody sings their song the way they feel it, everybody closes their eyes and lifts up their hands."

"I never liked jazz music because jazz music doesn't resolve. But I was outside the Bagdad Theater in Portland one night when I saw a man playing the saxophone. I stood there for fifteen minutes, and he never opened his eyes.

After that I liked jazz music.

Sometimes you have to watch somebody love something before you can love it yourself. It is as if they are showing you the way."

[via donald miller, blue like jazz]

read the book on the way to shanghai (oh btw i ended up bringing two books for the hol, despite the 'ambitious' tag. am thankful i did :D the flight was about 5 hours, by which time i almost finished with one book.

this was easy reading, much like reading a blog, but it left me wanting by the end of it. like how he has described jazz music, the book didn't resolve. maybe the hype of "more than one million copies sold" got to me. maybe it wasn't meant to be. ah well. appreciate his honesty though. a lot of us are jerks but we wouldn't admit it, what more have it published and publicized. also i could relate to his "in my own world" thingy -- not the best of traits by any measure, but it's just who he is. heh - he feels like a friend now. the book's gonna be made into a movie -- wonder how it would translate on screen. it would not likely be shown here, so here's to torrents and downloading.

happy friday!

duke ellington & john coltrane :: in a sentimental mood

I don't write songs when I'm happy. When I'm content, I take my wife out to dinner, I go surfing. I hang out with my friends and play ridiculous cover tunes when I'm happy. But when I'm depressed, I turn to look for something beyond this life. When I'm lonely and nothing makes sense and the world has lost it's flavor I search for notes and words that usher in a transcendence that soars high above the tragedy. I look for to song to understand the present tragedy in the context of a hope for a better world. I look for words that remind me of a bigger story, for songs that acknowledge the tragedy and move beyond it. I look to artists who give me windows, words that provide for a new life to be birthed within me.

Is it escape? Is it a coping mechanism? Maybe a bit, but I feel that it is much more than that. The song becomes a hopeful defiance. A declaration that the injustices and absurdities of our postmodern existence are not the final downbeat. Music becomes a confession of disbelief in the world that surrounds me. A refusal to believe that these tragedies and horrors are the ultimate end. A refusal to accept the oppression of the Dalit's as anything other than tragic. A nonacceptance that the starving six year old is anything other than tragic. The song is written in defense of a world beyond this one, in defense of Truths that seldom make it to the front page of the newspaper. Words create worlds.

jon foreman, via huffington post

thanks, jon.

Your voice has stilled the raging storms
the wind and waves bow down before
Your still small voice brings hope to all
who wait on You, we'll wait for You
to lead us to the place where You'll restore our souls
and all our earthly strivings come to cease

take from our souls the strain and stress
and let our ordered lives confess
the beauty of Your peace

bright skies will soon be overhead
we'll enter in to Heaven's rest
there'll be no death, there'll be no pain
the things of old will pass away
You'll lead us to the place where You'll restore our souls
and all our earthly strivings come to cease

tim hughes :: beauty of your peace

breathe, ellis, breathe.

love your neighbors.. gargh.

I’ve seen too much hate to want to hate, myself, and every time I see it, I say to myself, hate is too great a burden to bear.

somehow we must be able to stand up against our most bitter opponents and say:

we shall match your capacity to inflict suffering by our capacity to endure suffering. we will meet your physical force with soul force. Do to us what you will and we will still love you.

we cannot in all good conscience obey your unjust laws and abide by the unjust system, because non-cooperation with evil is as much a moral obligation as is cooperation with good, so throw us in jail and we will still love you. bomb our homes and threaten our children, and, as difficult as it is, we will still love you.

send your hooded perpetrators of violence into our communities at the midnight hour and drag us out on some wayside road and leave us half-dead as you beat us, and we will still love you. send your propaganda agents around the country and make it appear that we are not fit, culturally and otherwise, for integration, but we’ll still love you.

but be assured that we’ll wear you down by our capacity to suffer, and one day we will win our freedom. we will not only win freedom for ourselves; we will appeal to your heart and conscience that we will win you in the process, and our victory will be a double victory.

:: martin luther king

via jesus needs new PR


mm, this kinda love, i cannot.
not by my own strength or will.

only yours, God.