just because

i *have* to post something here today, because it's Feb 29, 2012 (a once in 4-year day if you reeeally have to know).

what do i say, what do i say?

i have nothing to say, i have nothing to say!

well, actually i do, i always do, but the thought of having to construct whole sentences that make sense is too daunting. i'm at that stage in my life where i'm just. too. layzee. to. urm. whatever.

oh, did you know that i have eight wedding invites for this year alone? yes EIGHT. don't get me wrong -- it's not that i'm not happy for my friends who are settling down, but you know what i'm implying. with the escalating cost of wedding banquets, an invite naturally places a financial burden on the invitees (yes, me and the rest of us who are going through the economy slump AND have vacation plans :D). so please understand why i'm going solo although you invited my other half who doesn't really know you at all. and i sincerely still want to be there for you, even if you have not contacted me since we left school 15 years ago (yes, one of those). and yes, i can get a bit grumpy at the quality of food, especially at *that* price tag. ok, sorry about the rant. i feel guilty cos i know the special day means a lot to the couples. i'm not upset at any one in particular.

just the collective group of you. haha!

btw i'm semi active again on twitter. almost abandoned it for good as i couldn't deal with the information overload, but gonna give it another shot. uh oh. this is gonna be another complaint (the husby is right, i do complain a lot! :D). i have this friend whose tweets flood my homepage by RT-ing (that's retweet for you non-twitterers, i.e. quoting someone else's status verbatim) everything her friends say. like "hello" and "good morning". and other nonsense that are so not RT material. this explains why she has 11,000+ tweets when she just joined twitter less than half a year ago. no, i can't unfollow her, due to certain "social pressure", if you catch my drift. yes, i succumb to that sometimes.

ok, i shall limit myself to two complaints.

i've been watching this TV show called Community (now in it's third season - i'm a slow adopter). and it's HI to the LARIOUS! it's an awesome cast and scenes and i haven't literally LOLed so much in a long time watching a TV show (even movies for that matter)), not even with HIMYM or TBBT or Modern Family (all of which i still love uninhibitedly). oh here's a pic of the cast (the only pic i have for this blog post):

last one before i ciao, (maybe you can click on this link to leave this blog) check out Caleb Wilde's blog. i've been following him for a while now and i enjoy his writing. he writes mostly on more sombre topics like death, not just because he's a sixth generation funeral director. his writing about dealing with death and loss, theological thoughts, and his vocation as mission, offers a rare insight into a world we rarely and reluctantly tread, and is worthy reading.

happy leap day!

*hops away*

i don't usually remember my dreams, but this one that i had this morning was kinda vivid.

i dreamed that i was caught in a earthquake, but instead of running away from the collapsing buildings around me, i hung around, wanted to go back up one of the building to look for my iphone.. hahaha.. it's not what you think -- what i really wanted to do was to call my dad and see if he was all right. he was with me earlier in the dream but somewhere along the line my mom and i went out own way.. we got into a lift when suddenly we were floating in zero gravity.. i think i felt my stomach physically turning. i looked up and somehow saw the sky and the lift was kinda falling apart but it didn't and miraculously, it actually stopped at the ground floor.. then i got out of the building and saw that the buildings around me falling apart.. i don't think the grounds was shaking though. and i remember thinking, it's the end of the world. and i said a short prayer. i saw big chunks of concrete falling from above in slow motion and crashing to the ground, but missing me by quite a bit.. i was quite scared and yet i was compelled to go back into one of the buildings to look for my phone..

and i jolted up by my alarm clock. the end.

[via]

if i were my blog, i'd probably battling with the questions of whether i the blogger love me the blog. if it isn't apparent, i'm going through the writing slump again. which might kinda reflect the state of my mental acuity: that nearing mush. i haven't been reading so much so that i have no idea where the last two books i was attempting to finish are. they are somewhere in some bags methinks. no idea.

anyway, i just read another blogger's tip for blogging: blog anyway. so here i am, blogging anyway. mm maybe i can share a couple of my resolutions for this year. i was past that stage of making resolutions to the stage of adamantly not making resolutions and it's come a full circle, i am making resolutions again. life's like that.

What has been will be again,
what has been done will be done again;
there is nothing new under the sun.
10 Is there anything of which one can say,
“Look! This is something new”?
It was here already, long ago;
it was here before our time.
Ecclesiates 1:9&10

two resos at the top of my head:

1. i want to learn to speak and read Chinese. time to break the mental resistance. i hope to hook up with one teacher some time this year, but knowing my knack for procrastination, any time NEXT year is fine too.

2. i want to minimize iPhone fiddling time when in a conversation. i often find it hard to focus when people talk, but i've gotta try!

kthnkbai4now.

Instagram pp.

I love my Instagram but there are two things that annoy me:

1. OTT fangirl gushiness and marriage proposals. Srsly, did you think that your idol will go, "Oh so many hearts in this comment. Why, The least I could do is to marry her!" You poor girl.

2. More hashtags than number of words in caption. So messy! And do you reeeeallly need to? Offenders are usually photobugs. Yes I am still your friend and the least that I'm doing is being passive-aggressive about this, cos I know how much it means to you.. not. Sorry.

And yes, I follow JB on Instagram :P

totally wicked!

We couldn't be happier..
because happy is what happens when all your dreams come true!

Had the most awwwwwesome weekend down in Singapore. Been looking forward to this for MONTHS! And when it happened, it was every bit as amazing as I had hoped it would be.

Except that I wish Fiyero was better looking. Oops! :) Hehehe.. We got some pretty good seats too, for SGD145. But I forgot my glasses again! I mean, I have not work them in years, but I don't see super well in dim places. So yeah, I might have missed out on some details.

The theater was in Marina Bay Sands (where the casino is), and the whole place just screams MONEY!! In fact, the whole of Singapore (at least where the shopping is) screams MONEY. It's the spirit of the city I guess: insatiable want of material possession.

I was singing along (verrrryyy softly) to all the songs, cos I know them so well! I've been listening to the CD forever now (now to weaning myself off it) and it really helped in getting into the mood of the show. I practically could see the whole show in my head (except the non-singing part).. and it's better in my head, cos Fiyero is much better looking (sorry!)..
I just love the storyline, the "untold story of the witches of Oz".. the friendship shared by the girls, and songs, oh the songs were just lovely. *contented sigh*

At peace.

Psalm 131:1-3 NIV
My heart is not proud, Lord, my eyes are not haughty; I do not concern myself with great matters or things too wonderful for me.
But I have calmed and quieted myself, I am like a weaned child with its mother; like a weaned child I am content. 
Israel, put your hope in the Lord both now and forevermore.

i don't usu recap the year: too shy to brag about the good things (though i must note that i flew the most this year compared to previous years: i was in tawau, bangkok and philippines for holidays, and miri, kuching, hong kong (twice!) for work.. that's not counting driving destinations like singapore (twice!), penang and PD -- i can't wait for next year!!)(and yes, a thousand times yes, there has been so more to my life that just the travelling), and not really wanting to relive the bad. i'd just say this: 2011 has been a good year, and i'm beyond thankful. if i were to pick a word to sum up the year, it would be settled. it's been a rough past few years prior, but things have been falling nicely into places.. and i can say this unflinchingly: i'm happy! :)


derek webb's lead us not into temptation but deliver us from evil

[ala Robin] holy matrimony!

married at last! hehehe.. i gained a new sister over the weekend as my bro took my SIL's hand in marriage (well, they were officially married on 09.09.09 but only got to performing all the ceremonial rites + dinner the past few days - dinner on Christmas, no less!)..i didn't take many pics the past few days as we used the family camera for the pre-wedding day activities, and had engaged a photographer for the wedding day itself.. will post more pics when i get the whole batch! :)

the wedding was a mainly family affair.. it's been a tiring past few days but it was so fun to meet all the relatives from yonks (srsly, i won't recognise 60% of them if i were to bump into them on the street on any given day).. my cousins and aunties (and hubby!) were a big help in getting the day going.. i was there to show my face for most part hahaha..

my first time witnessing a 上头 (hair-combing) ceremony.. i didn't know people still do it haha..

the vicious chee-muis and sacrificial heng dais jip-ping the san leong (lit. fetching the bride (?)).. my cousin sis led the chee-muis into torturing the heng-dais and it was really fun to watch! haha.. i got to be there as i had to lead the in-laws from Penang to my cousin sis' place where the bride was waiting.. the chee-muis really put a lot of thought and efforts into entertaining the crowd and making the dudes suffer :D

the dashing groom and blushing bride
白头到老 oh! ;)

left: my baby bro with the angpow he received for opening the door for the bride.
right: me and sis and our dinner 'do. ;)

my parents were delirious with joy, striking a pose with "cool" hand signs.. and later with the newlyweds.

we won't be celebrating christmas this year, as it coincides with my brother's wedding. it's a mixture of feelings of missing out one of my favourite days to celebrate the couple's big day. i've taken to cheering myself up by listening to christmas tunes and having a small virtual tree on my desktop. i must have an christmas open house next year! and you are invited ;)

The King and I.

I liked durian when I was young. Durian dinner was a family affair, with all of us sitting round on the living room floor; dad would deftly open one fruit after another, faster than we could pop them into our mouths.. That, or we'd mix the flesh with a hot bowl of rice. We'd also be keeping an eye out for a good piece of shell to end dinner with the drinking of water straight from the pipe onto the shell, to "cool off the heatiness" of the durian.

Then one day, I think I was 17(?), I just decided that I don't like durian. I'd sit out from the makan fest, and just watch while they eat. I wasn't turn off by the smell -- I still don't get how gwailos would describe the fragrance of the King of Food as vomit-inducing stench -- I just abstained. The family couldn't understand it and neither did I, but I didn't begrudge it. And the idea of durian and rice? Major turn-off!

Then I got married to a durian lover.

I'd know when the fruit is in season. His cravings would start and my house will carry the lingering smell. That saying, if you can't beat them, join them? Haha.. Well I did. These days, I can't describe my rship with the fruit -- one day I'd eat it, and the next day I won't. Back and forth, back and forth. I guess it's "complicated" eh? Haha! Anyways, for the record, today I had three biji of thick sweet flesh ones. And dare I say, yums? :)

Yours.

Psalm 139:1-10 NIV

You have searched me, Lord, and you know me. You know when I sit and when I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar. You discern my going out and my lying down; you are familiar with all my ways. Before a word is on my tongue you, Lord, know it completely. You hem me in behind and before, and you lay your hand upon me. Such knowledge is too wonderful for me, too lofty for me to attain. Where can I go from your Spirit? Where can I flee from your presence? If I go up to the heavens, you are there; if I make my bed in the depths, you are there. If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea, even there your hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast.

向昨天说再见.. not so soon!

when my colleague cj out of the blue yesterday told me she downloaded a couple of jimmy lin's songs for me,  the first thing i did was to thank her, and then giggled, and then giggled some more. ah, the good old days of idol crushing. *giggles*

if you did not know already, i was a HUGE fan of 林志颖!  i think he was the only singer i've obsessed over. i had all his albums and newspaper cutouts and posters (not pasted on my walls thou') and all his songs painstakingly translated into pinyin word by word and memorised. i'd buy Chinese magazines just for an article with him - i've a ring file full of everything him. i was taken in hook, link and sinker by his boyish looks and cute pop songs (which incidentally, are a PAIN to watch now. i looked up some songs over youtube just now and seriously, they are cringe-worthy ahahahahhaah).. it was intense. and then he went for his national training, and just like that, the crush was over.

today, i asked cj to download several more songs. it has been a fun day listening to him.. and being 14 again!

我的知己是谁 我的心情谁体会

谁说少年的我 不懂愁滋味

也许这是成长的感觉

我也曾经流泪 我也曾经徘徊

其实我也需要 一点点安慰

带我走出封闭的空间

一起向昨天说再见

寻找属于我们的世界

年轻的梦都将实现

只要我们用心去追

一起向昨天说再见

写下属于自己的明天

所有界限都将穿越

等待我像展翅高飞

林志颖 - 向昨天说再见

20.11.2011

It's an auspicious day to be 33 [LOL!] so happy birthday to me.. ^_^

May I find what I I'm looking for, whatever it is.

Thank you God for your love and blessings and mercy and grace that overflows in my life.

I'm walking down a well-trodden path, yet feeling rather lost and somewhat lonely. It looks like I might be here for a while; peering suspiciously at what appears to be complacency or is it calibration. But for most part, I'm actively idle.

When I'm behind the wheel, I don't mind, and sometimes even welcome, getting lost (but I hate the snag that's the traffic jam when I'm looking for a way out).. I always learn a new route or bad one in getting back on track, and it's kinda exciting when the aha! moment strikes (again, just no traffic jam please).

That's when the previously greyed out area in the map that's in my head reveals itself when the dots and destinations connect.