rhymes with broccoli.

You know one of those one-thing-leads-to-another events? So something like that happened and I ended up at my ex-colleagues long-defunct blog and randomly clicked on one of the posts and came upon this. And this is one of 'em things that articulate how you feel about something but you never thought to put it in words.

ON MELANCHOLY

the collins dictionary let me down today. i don't like it's definition of melancholy. the collins advanced learner's defines melancholy as "an intense sadness". i disagree.

the relationship between melancholy and sadness cannot be one of degrees. if anything, a very intense sadness could possibly be mistaken for depression, but certainly not melancholy.

melancholy, as i've always known it, is a detached variety of sadness. it is a sadness that, when choosing between crying and sighing, will choose sighing. it's a sadness that stands outside of itself and feels the quiet pang of loss rather than the raw pain of it.

i'd almost go as far as to say that melancholy is being sad about sadness itself. it's like looking back on an unfortunate event from a place that doesn't feel the firsthand sadness - the sadness is now secondhand, no longer played out on ground zero but watched from the rooftop, looking down. it moves from being a sadness for to being a sadness about. yes, i think this is melancholy. collins = fallible.

i've been feeling a bit melancholy lately. i don't mind it. it's actually quite nice.

~

In keeping with the somber tone of the post (yay, Friday!)... I was recently thinking about something Jon Foreman said, when I remembered he briefly wrote about singer-songwriter the late Elliot Smith. I'm not familiar with his work and I don't know much about Elliot other than what I read on wiki. One thing of note, I've outlived him. It's a weird feeling. I sometimes think about what if any given day was my last on earth. Would I be sad to leave? Yes. Would I be happy to leave? Yes.




Elliot Smith :: Between The Bars

Drink up baby, stay up all night, with the things you could do
You won't but you might, the potential you'll be
That you'll never see the promises you'll only make
Drink up with me now and forget all about the pressure of days
Do what I say and I'll make you okay and drive them away, the images stuck in your head

People you've been before that you don't want around anymore
That push and shove and won't bend to your will, I'll keep them still
Drink up baby, look at the stars, I'll kiss you again between the bars
Where I'm seeing you there with your hands in the air, waiting to finally be caught

Drink up one more time and I'll make you mine
Keep you apart, deep in my heart, separate from the rest
Where I like you the best and keep the things you forgot
The people you've been before that you don't want around anymore
That push and shove and won't bend to your will, I'll keep them still