somewhat sille, that's me!

Once a year around this time, I'll have to battle the decision on whether to move on from my job or not. And chatting to M (my ex-boss) just now kinda ignited the cycle again. She's always trying to convince me to leave for greener pasture by telling me how much my peers are earning. And srsly, those amounts are so huge, I can't even... but I just don't see myself being able to fill a bigger role, I'm not ambitious, I'm not a strategic thinker, I'm not leader material.. but I like that she thinks that I have it in me.

Sigh, just gonna be feeling restless and depressed until I come to a decision. I don't even want to begin thinking about what's next should I choose to leave. But maybe I'd fail at every interview and have to stay put by default.. and deal with my shattered self esteem. I just can't win this, can I??

Mm I told myself last year that I'd see the outcome of this year's performance appraisal before deciding, so that's what I'm going to do. I just hate to have to deal with the emotional bits of it right now.

: \