another month hath passed us by! swoosh! ~

This dragon of despair burns down all that I hold dear. I begin to sink deeper and deeper into depression and apathy. Why bother? It's a serious question. Why get up? Why make the bed? Why fight for anything at all? Because there is still hope yet! Because the dragon just might have a weakness. Because your heroes are uninformed enough to think they might have a chance. The fat lady hasn't sung. The concrete has not set yet. There is still time. Yes, this planet is wrought with horrors and pain and heartache, but there is beauty still. The dark horses are still running.

[jf]

• 31 may :: sis, for being so accommodating whenever i visit :D>
• 30 may :: librabry after church. meeting up w my sibs in Spore. >
• 29 may :: excitement and addiction to mario brothers. japanese dinner (thanks jane! =) cheap CDs!
• 28 may :: outlet stores! :) public transport convenience.
• 27 may :: the excitement from a pre-trip.. the solitude of a bus ride.. sis waiting for me at the terminal at midnite
• 26 may :: sis bought and paid for my bus tix home fr Spore
• 25 may :: healthy bread.. and butter :P
• 24-may :: getting myself to do something (i'm such a procrastinator so yeah every task done is worthy of a celeb *winces*)
• 23 may :: new lunch spot for post-svc lunch! :)
• 22 may :: my team :)
• 21 may :: MC!
• 20 may :: raw fish! cheese!
• 19 may :: dictionaries. online and printed.
• 18 may :: air asia! :D
• 17 may :: electricity. and running water. i am forever indebted.
• 16 may :: that malay dude who was my math teacher in standard 2. "matematik senang aje" you have no idea what that meant to me.
• 15 may :: have i listed "air cond" before? yeah? what abt Google? :)
• 14 may :: re-runs that doesn't get old (the nanny, friends :)
• 13 may :: a bed to crawl into.
• 12 may :: eye opener documentary on dolphin slaughter (the cove, @palatepalette). can't suppress skepticism at activist overtones though.
• 11 may :: bonding over a korean dinner ;)
• 10 may :: patience and prayers of others over us
• 9 may :: opp to eat a very exp fish, to see what the fuss was about :D
• 8 may :: friendship sealed by shared torment, celebrated with a nasi lemak breakfast :D
• 7 may :: twitter, for the momentary carthartic release
• 6 may :: chocolate.. and coffee ;)
• 5 may :: argh i'm so behind on this! :P mm, for today, it'll be to watch 'let the right one in' w chongy :)
• 4 may :: mom! (minus the nags.. hehe)
• 3 may :: humour. life would be such a dread without it.
• 2 may :: rare activity - house viewing
• 1 may :: arts! books! food! concert! all in a day! :)

i walked from my office in klcc to pavilion after work yesterday to meet my hubby who was trying out true fitness' one month free trial. he's quite serious about this exercise thingy - even waking at 6am on Sat morns to go for walks. me? hahaha.. my body is aging faster than my speech rate.

anyways, it's not a long walk, just a 15-20mins depending on what shoes one has on. hehe.. anyways, the route took me past the kuala lumpur convention centre where the government is doing the PEMANDU drive/forum (driver drive? haha..) which, if i'm not mistaken, is an effort to pass the subsidy bill.

there were about 15 banners hanging from the wall telling us why it needed to be passed and how the Government is paying so much in subsidy yadda yadda.. i read every single word on those banners and as i did, i could just feel my blood boiling lah. someone correct me please if i get this wrong, but really.. i was/am just so pissed off.

i thought of the recent by-elections (and all the elections prior) and the money they poured into each constituent. the multi million dollar contracts to undeserving fat cats. the useless MACC. the poorly built roads and cracking multi million dollar structures. the iskandar project. the bakun dam. the energy and telco monopoly. the arrogant face of bung mokhtar. the taxes we pay for our cars. our human rights commission. no minimum wage.

all these and they still dare ask if they could reduce or remove subsidies because the government's coffer is depleting?! it's just downright preposterous!!!

and justifying it with buzzwords like 'moving forward' and 'negara maju' and 'defisit' and telling me sob story about how much you have given us (RM12k per household per year, which in my calculation, is about RM200 per person per month, which i think if you put it that way, is NOT ENOUGH) and how we are one of the highest subsidizing countries in the world --- i'm just not buying it OK?

!@#$%^&*()


...

i can't talk about this without getting emotional and all riled up. sorry.



and this just in:

Fugitive Malaysia Today editor Raja Petra Raja Kamarudin should reveal the identity of the people funding his stay in Britain, said Umno supreme council member Datuk Dr Abdul Latif Ahmad. He said Raja Petra, or RPK, should explain to Malaysians whether his sponsors were politicians, corporate figures or those from foreign countries.

what kinda of stupid is that? who in the paper even decide that this fella deserve the time of the day for the nonsense he is spouting? should i hold a press conference to tell you what i had for lunch and share my bowel movement schedule with the nation?

asking for directions

excuse me, sir, i think i'm lost..
i'm looking for.. erm, where is that line, the one that separates knowledge and faith?

i've been looking for a while now.. and frankly, i'm not even sure if it exists.
how does it look like? would i know if it stares me in the eye?
should i recognise it by faith? or by my experiences, what i've always known?
or is it a little of both?
how far do i go with the former before i let the latter take over?
or is the latter a constant that just goes all the way?
does one validate the other? which?
aiyor, so confusing wan. how lar? at this rate--
oh you know?

...

so, it's near where every other tension couplets meet? mm, i think i know that place.
it's just up there isn't it, around the corner and a second away from that other line where i would just totally lose it. uh-huh.

...

i think i see it. kthxbai!

ohpleasedo!! :D

i found another band that i like! :D

was trawling youtube for vids of the very cute matt thiessen (relient k's frontman), and stumbled on one of deas vail's record and immediately fell in love with it. haha.. but i'm so predictable lah.

Deas Vail (pronounced "day-us vayl") is an indie rock band signed to Mono Vs Stereo (the record label owned and managed by Relient K). Noted for having musical similarities to Death Cab for Cutie, Mew and Mae, Deas Vail was formed in the university town of Russellville, Arkansas in 2003.

[from wiki]

look at the list of bands they are likened to -- is there any surprise that i would like this band? hahaha.. well i have a weakness for a male vocal and melodies like theirs. hahaha.. oh yeah, i downloaded their album (birds and cages) and it's been looping on my player since. :D

God, how much does it take
for us to be loved?
for us to be saved?
We are all birds stuck inside our cage,
covered up with praise
and behind our saints
we hide our face
oh, the numbers come
yeah, they’re dialing in
we can’t help but to compare ourselves again

deas vail :: birds

so near, yet so far.

none* of my musical loving friends would be attending the musical west side story, except for two very very lucky gals who got free premium tix. yeahhh.. corporate clients are such wonderful creature. i wish i still worked at that institution. but nah, the tix wouldn't have gone my way in a million years. yes, i'm all green from my nightly vege dinners and deep envy of their fortuity.

but really, the price structure for this show is very frustrating. prices start from RM190 for seats furthest from stage, and quickly move up by a quantum of RM100, with prohibitive RM500 tickets covering a huge section of the seating chart. i don't think the local organizer quite understand what the public sentiment is and the depth of our pockets. 500 buckaroos is a lot a lot of money ok.

and i think that the government could do well subsidizing the cost so that more people could have access to such rare opportunities, instead of blowing a couple of million for those shameless advertisements on NYTimes. really, "first lady", your "family and friends" would far appreciate it than knowing that you won some obscure award for some dubious achievement.

mm, maybe this being the musical's only stop in SEA, they hike up the price cos they know the singaporeans could afford it? whatever it is, i will be sulking at my corner til this is over.

bah, humbug!

* update: ooh just found out over FB one musical bug actually went! :) happy to know it, and naturally also terribly envious. tsk tsk @self. hehe..

had japanese dinner w my parents on Sat night - a first for them! and a change of the usual chinese fare. we ordered so much that i could barely walk after the meal. haha.. mom didn't quite take to sashimi, but she loved the rolls and unagi, and esp the garlic rice - of all things! haha.. went to this place off jalan old klang road called nihon kai.. the place was so crowded and we had to wait abt 30mins to get a table, outside some more (by which time i was close to fainting cos i was so hungry but service was really fast thank God!).. but the prices were quite reasonable and food was good -- yums. (thanks jiwen for recommending! =)

este es mi mamá :)

and on sunday, went back home for lunch. my fish breeder cousin gave them a very very expensive fish which i've heard so much about but have never eaten so how could i resist! (that's a 1.5-2kg fish there, so read the article and do your math if you are curious! :) we'd some garlic rice too. hehe.. and some very nice soup (i had seconds on a very full stomach).. BURRRP! :D

next up, korean for father's day. :D

before that, i shd get back to work. hahaha..

more tea lady drama

she asked me to keep the bowls that i've just washed and placed on the DRYING rack to, you know, DRY. she said the bowl and plate were taking up space (there were nothing else there but a spoon) and that this wasn't my house..

what is her problem? next time, i'm just gonna put everything DRIPPING WET back into the cabinet. every time also tell me "i'm not your servant" and "this is not your house".

i'm already doing her job for her for goodness sake. hey, i wash my own plates and cups, i make my own drinks. so, what have i ever DONE to make HER feel like a servant? SHEESH. when my boss asks me to write something, do i go "i am not your servant!" it's my job right? the one i get paid to do? HELLO??



/takes deep breath
/rant over

this is an awesome list. if you can't relate it at all, please go back to your sandbox and come back again in 10 years. :)

i could identify with so many items on this list, and those who i sent the link to howled in agreement. interesting how much we share in common, even with strangers -- so much more than we thought we do eh? :D


1. I think part of a best friend’s job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.

yes, please. and NO PEEKING ok! :D
si senor, my shadows should never leave the closet.

5. How the h*** are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

i never knew. i just fold the whole thing together in an awkward roll and chuck it into my closet. it will smoothen out when i put it up anyways.

8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.

for some reason, i started reading the obits not too long ago. and yes, i would like to know. haha!

9. I can’t remember the last time I wasn’t at least kind of tired.

1984 methinks.

10. Bad decisions make good stories.

don't we know it?! :(

11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren’t going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.

HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH.......

13. I’m always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page technical report that I swear I did not make any changes to.

and i could never decide if i should press Yes or No.

16. I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.

i know riiite!

22. I would rather try to carry 10 over-loaded plastic bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.

resulting in deep red marks on hands. still, what's pain compared to walking a second trip! hehe..

25. How many times is it appropriate to say “What?” before you just nod and smile because you still didn’t hear or understand a word they said?

GUILTY AS CHARGED.

27. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.

so true. haha! why you look at me like that. *frowns*

31. Sometimes I’ll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.

and dates - i can't seem to rber them!

the centre of gravity shifted.
more like, this pic won't rotate. *grumblegrumble*

it must have been 18 years since i last worn anything like this but the legging made its comeback today. :D i hesitated forever, but chongy said to just do it, and so i did. hehe.. glad i took the plunge. :P and i'm wearing a GREEN top. haha.. my 1st colored (except black or white) clothing for the week..

mm i really like this song. i've heard of Yuna's fame (esp after her historical AIM wins), but have never checked her out til yest when WW sent me the link to this song. i really like it! (oh i've said that already? :) would like to get my hands on her EP.. :D

yuna :: backpacking through europe

there are two things i don't like (among a million others):

1. joining groups on facebook cos they are so so lame e.g. I bet Manchester United can reach 50,000 fans before Liverpool! (srsly, who cares?). admittedly some of them are rather funny, like Yes I will eat your sample. But l have no intention of buying it. or I puttt extraa letterrss on myy wordss for no reasonnnn or "Because I'm Awesome" IS the answer to all questions. (i got these off 1 friend who likes 320+ of these pages 0_o)
   



2. the lemur king Julian on Madagascar cos he's so so annoying!
   

but i can't help myself with this:

hahaha! =D cracks me up every time.

i should learn to shut my trap sometimes..

and to speak up when i should.

someone sent me a 'gem' from the person's friend, as posted on the friend's FB:

"Disclaimer: All views, sentiments, & comments expressed by me are mine & mine only. They r not 2 b interpreted derogatorily or offensively. Nor am I representg [sic] the ideologies of any person, group, or organisation. My "space" / profile on FB is purely personal. Entiendes mang?"

sigh. why won't they understand that it's not PERSONAL when you post it for all and sundry to see. it's like walking naked down the road and telling ppl that it's your private parts and they are not supposed to see them. if they are so private, then you keep them hidden. get a private blog, or a personal diary, or a friend.. FB is a PUBLIC forum. whilst a virtual space, it's still public. and when in public, i sure do hope someone's taught you some basic etiquette about how to behave yourself. you can't post inflammatory or seditious or misogynistic or abusive statements and go 'lol, just thinking out loud'. argh. ke-stupid-an yang teramat sangat! grrr..

oops if you terasa, you can't take offense cos (and i know you'd agree): this is like MY personal space..