At peace.

Psalm 131:1-3 NIV
My heart is not proud, Lord, my eyes are not haughty; I do not concern myself with great matters or things too wonderful for me.
But I have calmed and quieted myself, I am like a weaned child with its mother; like a weaned child I am content. 
Israel, put your hope in the Lord both now and forevermore.

i don't usu recap the year: too shy to brag about the good things (though i must note that i flew the most this year compared to previous years: i was in tawau, bangkok and philippines for holidays, and miri, kuching, hong kong (twice!) for work.. that's not counting driving destinations like singapore (twice!), penang and PD -- i can't wait for next year!!)(and yes, a thousand times yes, there has been so more to my life that just the travelling), and not really wanting to relive the bad. i'd just say this: 2011 has been a good year, and i'm beyond thankful. if i were to pick a word to sum up the year, it would be settled. it's been a rough past few years prior, but things have been falling nicely into places.. and i can say this unflinchingly: i'm happy! :)


derek webb's lead us not into temptation but deliver us from evil

[ala Robin] holy matrimony!

married at last! hehehe.. i gained a new sister over the weekend as my bro took my SIL's hand in marriage (well, they were officially married on 09.09.09 but only got to performing all the ceremonial rites + dinner the past few days - dinner on Christmas, no less!)..i didn't take many pics the past few days as we used the family camera for the pre-wedding day activities, and had engaged a photographer for the wedding day itself.. will post more pics when i get the whole batch! :)

the wedding was a mainly family affair.. it's been a tiring past few days but it was so fun to meet all the relatives from yonks (srsly, i won't recognise 60% of them if i were to bump into them on the street on any given day).. my cousins and aunties (and hubby!) were a big help in getting the day going.. i was there to show my face for most part hahaha..

my first time witnessing a 上头 (hair-combing) ceremony.. i didn't know people still do it haha..

the vicious chee-muis and sacrificial heng dais jip-ping the san leong (lit. fetching the bride (?)).. my cousin sis led the chee-muis into torturing the heng-dais and it was really fun to watch! haha.. i got to be there as i had to lead the in-laws from Penang to my cousin sis' place where the bride was waiting.. the chee-muis really put a lot of thought and efforts into entertaining the crowd and making the dudes suffer :D

the dashing groom and blushing bride
白头到老 oh! ;)

left: my baby bro with the angpow he received for opening the door for the bride.
right: me and sis and our dinner 'do. ;)

my parents were delirious with joy, striking a pose with "cool" hand signs.. and later with the newlyweds.

we won't be celebrating christmas this year, as it coincides with my brother's wedding. it's a mixture of feelings of missing out one of my favourite days to celebrate the couple's big day. i've taken to cheering myself up by listening to christmas tunes and having a small virtual tree on my desktop. i must have an christmas open house next year! and you are invited ;)

The King and I.

I liked durian when I was young. Durian dinner was a family affair, with all of us sitting round on the living room floor; dad would deftly open one fruit after another, faster than we could pop them into our mouths.. That, or we'd mix the flesh with a hot bowl of rice. We'd also be keeping an eye out for a good piece of shell to end dinner with the drinking of water straight from the pipe onto the shell, to "cool off the heatiness" of the durian.

Then one day, I think I was 17(?), I just decided that I don't like durian. I'd sit out from the makan fest, and just watch while they eat. I wasn't turn off by the smell -- I still don't get how gwailos would describe the fragrance of the King of Food as vomit-inducing stench -- I just abstained. The family couldn't understand it and neither did I, but I didn't begrudge it. And the idea of durian and rice? Major turn-off!

Then I got married to a durian lover.

I'd know when the fruit is in season. His cravings would start and my house will carry the lingering smell. That saying, if you can't beat them, join them? Haha.. Well I did. These days, I can't describe my rship with the fruit -- one day I'd eat it, and the next day I won't. Back and forth, back and forth. I guess it's "complicated" eh? Haha! Anyways, for the record, today I had three biji of thick sweet flesh ones. And dare I say, yums? :)

Yours.

Psalm 139:1-10 NIV

You have searched me, Lord, and you know me. You know when I sit and when I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar. You discern my going out and my lying down; you are familiar with all my ways. Before a word is on my tongue you, Lord, know it completely. You hem me in behind and before, and you lay your hand upon me. Such knowledge is too wonderful for me, too lofty for me to attain. Where can I go from your Spirit? Where can I flee from your presence? If I go up to the heavens, you are there; if I make my bed in the depths, you are there. If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea, even there your hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast.

向昨天说再见.. not so soon!

when my colleague cj out of the blue yesterday told me she downloaded a couple of jimmy lin's songs for me,  the first thing i did was to thank her, and then giggled, and then giggled some more. ah, the good old days of idol crushing. *giggles*

if you did not know already, i was a HUGE fan of 林志颖!  i think he was the only singer i've obsessed over. i had all his albums and newspaper cutouts and posters (not pasted on my walls thou') and all his songs painstakingly translated into pinyin word by word and memorised. i'd buy Chinese magazines just for an article with him - i've a ring file full of everything him. i was taken in hook, link and sinker by his boyish looks and cute pop songs (which incidentally, are a PAIN to watch now. i looked up some songs over youtube just now and seriously, they are cringe-worthy ahahahahhaah).. it was intense. and then he went for his national training, and just like that, the crush was over.

today, i asked cj to download several more songs. it has been a fun day listening to him.. and being 14 again!

我的知己是谁 我的心情谁体会

谁说少年的我 不懂愁滋味

也许这是成长的感觉

我也曾经流泪 我也曾经徘徊

其实我也需要 一点点安慰

带我走出封闭的空间

一起向昨天说再见

寻找属于我们的世界

年轻的梦都将实现

只要我们用心去追

一起向昨天说再见

写下属于自己的明天

所有界限都将穿越

等待我像展翅高飞

林志颖 - 向昨天说再见

20.11.2011

It's an auspicious day to be 33 [LOL!] so happy birthday to me.. ^_^

May I find what I I'm looking for, whatever it is.

Thank you God for your love and blessings and mercy and grace that overflows in my life.

I'm walking down a well-trodden path, yet feeling rather lost and somewhat lonely. It looks like I might be here for a while; peering suspiciously at what appears to be complacency or is it calibration. But for most part, I'm actively idle.

When I'm behind the wheel, I don't mind, and sometimes even welcome, getting lost (but I hate the snag that's the traffic jam when I'm looking for a way out).. I always learn a new route or bad one in getting back on track, and it's kinda exciting when the aha! moment strikes (again, just no traffic jam please).

That's when the previously greyed out area in the map that's in my head reveals itself when the dots and destinations connect.

It's 11.11.11 11:11AM right now.

Just thought I'd commemorate the moment (yeah I do this, but I still haven't posted anything about my anniversary two weeks back.. Tsk tsk! Hehe..)(Btw, we turned NINE on 26.10.11 -- Yay us! =)(and I'm happy to be happy)(and I miss the hubby now that he's away..comebacksoonhubby!!)..

Anyways, I love November - it's the most awesome of months, only because I was born this month. We Novemberians are a loving, cute bunch ahem.. really. I haven't met a Noverian I don't like, have you? ;)

Nov signifies the time to start winding down (I know, it's like we've just started and somehow the year went over us like, whoosh!) and reflecting on the year gone by.. and going for holidays with the AA flight tix you book last year.. and weddings to attend.. and scrambling to finish off off the to-do or to-achieve list. And erm.. shopping for Xmas (dread dread dread!).. It's nice, cos the year is not year over and at the same time, somewhat behind us.. Thanks Nov, for being gentle. 

Away.

I want to be somewhere somewhat (far) away. I want to feel at home in another place; to be a foreigner then maybe a friend. Just for a week, a month or a year.. not too long, I still belong here.

Her Majesty The Big Headed Prawn Highness

I should start a new label to tag all the posts chronicaling the many times I royally screw up. Sigh.

My mind must have left home for the day before my body did that evening. Maybe it was never really there in the first place. All the receipts from my recent work-related travelling and daily parking which I meant to submit to accounts had been neatly stuck on several sheets of paper and painstakingly labelled, all these.. I threw them away and I left for home. Yeah you read that right. Sigh.

I didn't realise they were missing til two days later in the middle of the night when I thought I would just go thru them again before sending them in. They weren't home and after a sleepless night I found they were not in the office either.

The thing is everyone in the office has been uprooted from our place due to
a renovation which took place ove three weeks and we've been in and out of the office throughout. But I looked and looked all over, retracing steps and all. I could only surmise that I'd discarded all RM700 into the bin (it was actually wayyy more but to console myself I put the loss to 700).

I just wanted to belasah myself for this act of sheer carelessness. Alligator tears were shed. I thought of ways to get some of the receipts reissued but the bulk of it seemed irrecoverable. I can only say... PADAN MUKA!!!

Hubby suggested that I talk to the Audit ppl to work out something. I pooh-poohed the idea. And continued to miserable. And decided to work put how much the actual damage was so I cld further self-bash. Thankfully, one good habit I kept a record of most expenditure. One brownie point. Minus 100 for everything else.

So, it came up to RM1,300+. That's friggin' substantial, no?

But it turned out, the man had it right all along. I finally did speak to the Audit person on charge and she reviewed my claims and declared it reasonable so asked me to submit my claims without receipts. And I did so unhesitatingly. So yay! :)

[Haven't gotten the cheque yet so not popping any champagne bottle yet.. all ready nevertheless ;)]

It's the little things.

Ought to be shot.

I'm being openly judgmental here but there is this divorce that's all abuzz online right now that everybody saw coming (probably not so soon but if you thought it was gonna last, you must be the last of the dinosaurs) that I frankly have nothing nice to say about the marriage and the breakup. I buy nothing of the sobs and geez, I'm just so so annoyed at how irreverent their view of the institution of marriage is, and I sure was thinking unholy thoughts when for some reason E! thinks that there are still milkable moments from the wedding episode and I happened to tune in when the bride uttered the til-death-do-us-part part of her vow. Obviously it meant nothing to her. That, or she's dead now. Heart broken? Boo-xxx-hoo.

I miss my sibs. *pouts*

Thank God for Whatapps where I'm updated of (almost) all things going on down south (bowel movement even -_- thanks, sis) and they, up north here. But nothing beats being togeder-geder! *continues pouting*

A beautiful beginning

Photo collages from Lili's bachelorette bash last night. Everything was gorgeous is many ways. X-rated pix and chats are thankfully not uploadable ;) I wish the couple a lifetime of marital bliss.

Dickensian.

What greater gift than the love of a cat? - Charles D.

To Rex with love.

Have I posted this pic before? I guess.. not? Anyways, Nasi Lemak 2.0 was HI-to-the-LA-to-the-RIOUS! Directed by the sensationalist (as chongy wld call him), no-stranger-to-us, beanie-wearing director, Namewee, and heavily inspired by Stephen Chau's Fod of Cookery, NL2.0 is filled with scenes and speech that hit close to home (if you're a Msian and you can't laugh at this, you're sooo a pendatang ok!), with no lack of LOL moments (and a couple of goosebump raising scenes too). I'm suitably impressed at his directorial debut effort--I hope he's more goodies in his bag!

Annnd it even brought my parents back to the cinema after what, 25 years?? Yeah, the last time they were in one, the single-screen Rex and Cathay cinemas were still in operations, movie posters were hand painted not printed, cinema floors would be covered in kuaci seed shells after each showing and tickets cost like 3 bucks. And I was alive to remember all these. Ooo...

Look what the wolf brought in.

24 books for RM200. Kuh-ray-zee, no? I'm one pleased bird.

Can you spot my new favorite author? ^_^

Hey Nora, Nora!

Caught The Secret Life of Nora on Fri night with ww my de facto musical kaki (major bummer that we won't be catching Wicked in S'pore together :( ...

Had been wanting to watch Nora since I first saw the poster, but forgot all about it, esp with the busyness that was September. Saw a friend's Instagram of the show last weekend and immediately dropped ww a text. Happily, she was game. We got the cheapest tix (RM53) haha, and got a seat wayyyy up on the 3rd floor. Oh well.

Anyways, just a quick few words on the production. Verdict: Loved it! Even from wayyy up. It's light, entertaining and fun! Too bad we couldn't really see the actors' faces. The songs were okay (nothing compared to Puteri Gunung Ledang! :) Tiara looked and sounded good. Ryan Silverman was ok (Stephen Rahman Hughes has better vocal -- I keep comparing this to PGL cos I lurrved that). Adiba Noor was awesome--methinks she stole every scene she was in! Tony Eusoff was quite a character too :) Aznil was OTT (his character is supposed to be OTT but he OTT'd it another notch, I wasn't impressed) buttt he seemed to be a crowd favorite, which I don't get. Oh well. The crowd was rather responsive, which was very cool. :)

Overall, an enjoyable fare. :) And oh, really dig (dug?) the props/set and costumes too :) I think the show's run has been extended. Go watch!

off the roof!

no, it’s not about my level of awesomeness, or anything remotely that.

I just received the medical report for the basic blood and urine test I did a few weeks back, and highlighted in pink are numbers pertaining to my physical wellbeing that in no way reflect how I feel. in other words, I feel great but my numbers suggest that I am a walking time bomb. yeah, my cholesterol level is so high that instead of a number, I got an asterisk (*), which my physician told me it was because the number so high their machine can't put a number to it. Yao mou. Pffbt.

right now, I’m thinking that ignorance is bliss when it comes to health. the worst that could happen is that I drop dead la. but noooo.. I’ve got to worry about if the next morsel of food entering my mouth is deadly, whether if I’m working those muscles enough, blah blah.. life is short enough as it is and now this? *GROANS*

pardon the language...

[via]

but sometimes i wonder. hmm.

Thirty one.

Still can't wrap my head around the idea that she was in her twenties -- let alone 30s! If there's a moment worth freezing, it would be now. I'm sure no one really get a good grasp of life as it goes on its merry way.. Mm this post is digressing haha..

What I really wanna say is HAPPYBIRTHDAYSISSSSLOVEYOUHUGSSS!!! Moga bertemu jejaka idaman soon, someone worthy of you ;) Awww.. and oh, FOREVER18 [in my eyes]!!

Hitched.

If there was a friend who I barely speak to and rarely meet, yet I simply adore and appreciate, this is the girl.

Maybe it's because in many ways we were cut from the same piece of cloth, and of course, we shared in the pains inflicted by a ruthless boss *cough*, so there's just something about her and us that I hold dear in my heart.
The girl tied the knot just last week to the boy of her dreams (and about time too!)(they've been together like 7 years?), and I'm just filled with sheer joy for the couple. May their union be a blessing to many, and that it be filled with love and laughter.

hello city.

Got to go Hong Kong for work this time around, was very happy (thanks to the boss who made it happen ;) Everything about the trip was great, esp the food. Well, it'd better, esp when it goes into the thousands per meal. We'd some glorious roast goose daily, amd a banquet of other decadent dishes that are beyond me to name :)

Loved our lodging (chk out Lanson Place on Keswick Rd), even when it meant having to share room w the boss. Didn't mind the nightly late nights slogging away; Sept is our dont-even-think-of-breathing month, so yeah. Our HK office, despite its modest size, overlooks the harbour and an awesome view. Did I mention the food? *contented sigh*

No, I won't pay to go back to HK. It's beyond our means as budget tourists. But on the company's tab? Bring me back anytime! :)

happy birthday husby! ^_^

strangely, chongy was the one who first called him husby, as in when she was referring to him, and not when addressing him. but of course. hehehe.. i thought it's quite a cute mistake, and took to adopting the term, alternating between the usual hubby and husby.


anyways, it's his birthday today. and i was away at Miri for 23 hours of this day. did not manage to catch an earlier flight home (it was full) and ended up home only at 11pm. urgh. maybe we'll celeb this weekend. somehow we have never been that big on bday celebs so it's no biggie. this time is the same, BUT i'm kinda excited cos i know what i'm getting him ^_^ (well not really cos he hasn't really decided on the exact model, but yeah i'm totally  stoked at the idea of giving him something he really could use! =)(gift buying is frustrating, and i've stopped with the men's shirts and ties and wallets a long time ago)

anywaysss, we spent the last hour of the day out at a nearby cafe having a late supper which means bad news for the waist and probably mean that i will be in VERY LATE to work tomorrow, but who cares? it's the husby's bday! hahaha... and we are here at the cafe, typing away on our own laptops. hahahahaha.. some world we live in.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, HUSBY! XOXO!

this is silly

but i love it! hahaahahah...

[via; see also]

reminiscing.. :)

somewhere in the lion city, c. feb '11
sometimes i just can't sit still
most times, actually :D

a whale of a time

[inspired by this -- thanks lils :D]

[via]

tu-i-tion

i found out last night the girl under my tutelage is a math olympiad. and i was like.. WHOA. and WHOA. and WHOA again. felt so humbled. and so envious.

speaking of tuition, and speaking of speech, i corrected her pronunciation of awry (that is, it should be a-rye, not aw-ree). while it's not an oft-spoken word, i told her that people might do a double take if she pronounced it correctly because most of us are used to the wrong pronunciation (which we probably only hear in our heads, since it doesn't come out in conversation very often)(when was the last time you use awry?)(i learned this lesson in my 20s, so i am assuming that everyone is as slow as i am hahaha)(oh well :| ).

still on the topic of tuition, i have a young pair of twins who are very weak in English (my rule of thumb to the other students that thou shall speaketh no other language other than ye olde English cannot apply here)(i practically conduct the class in my half past six 华语 *pats self on back*)(too many parentheses derailed my train of thought -- where was i..? oh.) that it takes considerable effort to read or spell simple words like sad or shy --they have no prob with happy though -- and unsurprisingly, no problem with spelling angry. guess where they learn it from? (hint: steve jobs made it possible)

it's actually quite fun being a tuition teacher (except for the rush to leave and the traffic jam parts in getting to their homes after work - that makes me wanna quit every week *whimpers). sometimes i wonder how i get away with it because i still struggle with explaining the technical parts (and you can see how this blog is littered with grammatical errors -- i know, i cringe when i spot them too)(and of course i feel it in my guts doesn't cut it), but they seem to be receptive. i could only hope i'm actually teaching them something.

twenty years on

what was in that tea?

bleh, another sleepless night. typing this on my laptop cos data usage on the iPhone is again at a precarious level. oh maxis, would it kill you to give us another few GBs or so? would it??

had a good few days off from the Raya and Merdeka hols. was supposed to be in als with jaz but i didn't wanna take friday off so the trip tak jadi for me. then there was supposed to be this 1 day makan trip up to ipoh with the husby's boss and wife, but that too was called off. guess i was meant to be in KL this week. :P

so yeah we met up with four Chinese church leaders who came in from Baguio for a week's trip en route home. had fun playing host, introducing them to malaysian food and people. went to Agong's Raya open house (first time in my life!)(missed the timing thou' so had to be content with just peering in from outside)(took pics with two malay families who were all dressed up for the occasion, explaining that it was so that our chinese visitors could see up close their traditional garbs, and they were very sporting!), walked about in Little India, Brickfields (almost bought a saree. if only!)(everything was so colourful) and KLCC (only viewed it from afar)(too many people).. i love thee, my dearest malaysia (that's soo corny but i can't think of another way of saying this, not at this hour).. 

got to meet up with PS & SP on the second day of raya -- which totally reminded me of the trips my mom used to bring us on when we were kids. mom has two good friends and she would take us on bus rides to jinjang (was it kepong?) or OUG to visit the aunties and sometimes we would stay over. so yeah, we were catching up on all the important details about our lives, our families, jobs, neighbors, in laws, boring auntie stuff like that.. and i totally love that what the three of us share is like what mom has when she was younger.. 

ah, it's september already. whoever let you creep up on us like that? 

Resolution 4Q2011: There is but ONE

LOSE WEIGHT.

Need to start shedding some kilos for my bro's big day come Dec. I wanna look nice, or at least decent! This gives me about 3 months plus to get into shape.

I'm a hefty 60+++ kg right now, and the target is minimum 5kg.. Losing 2kg per month would be just about nice.

I'm not sure if I'm all-talk only but I sure do hope that I'm more than that. Wish me the best! :)

I love you

Those three words doesn't roll off my tongue easily, especially if I have never say it to the person in particular. They do escape my lips sometimes, when I muster enough guts to utter it, but more often than not, I prefer to keep mum. Alas, there are a handful of people that I really want to tell how I have made for them some very cozy room in my heart.. and that I care.. and that I'm there :) But I guess some fears are more paralyzing than I could handle. I hope my actions would then speak for me (then again, I'm not a very action oriented person :P so I guess some people will never know)

That said, I would lose all inhibitions when it comes to cats. Erm yeah, I can go all gushy and would start professing sweet nothings and everlasting love to a random cute cat that I come across. Am I a cat slut?? Hahaha.. There is just something about how graceful the way they move, the I-couldn't-care-less attitude, how soft they feel in your arms, and the fear that they might just swing that paw and leave you with an unsightly scratch mark, all these that just melt my heart like chocs under intense spotlight. It's either you get what I'm saying or you don't. For those who do, check this out and smile/nod along with me! :)

The colourful shopfronts in Kch I was talking about. There's a whole stretch of 'em. Nice right!

Can't decide on a date to go for Wicked. I wanna do it in Dec, while the holiday mood is still in high swing.. But the only window is the week after Christmas.. But it's kinda tight, and I think there will be a lot of ppl. Don't wanna endure both traffic and human jams if I could help it. Maybe the first week of Jan (when everyone's still shaking off the holiday mood) but I don't know if the rest wanna, if they could settle on a date in the first place. Might be going on different dates :( It's def way more fun if everyone could make it on the same day but see how lah.

I was thinking democracy doesn't work all the time -- Obama should just call the shots and do what he thinks is best (in another word, totalitarianism ftw!)

It's almost strange...

... now that I lie on my bed, to think that just 30 hours ago I was few hundred kilometres away, walking down a river bank, snapping away with my phone intricate leaf patterns and paved sidewalks and colourful presumably antebellum shopfronts and a lazy cat rolling near my feet, and 24 hours before that we were cooking away in my kitchen with fiery red kimchi and egg coated rice and fistful of garlic and onion, and 30 hours before I was tucking into a plate of Penang nasi lemak at a celebratory lunch because she is staying, a decision made not more than 16 hours before that. Well, I'd use surreal and not strange if not because I think I've overused it in this blog. Oyasumi nasai, minasan..

Welcome to another edition of my nightly rambling, just because I can't sleep and I've made it a habit of sorts to send one entry off before I hit the sack since my somewhat ironic announcement about me not writing.

I've had some pretty disturbing dreams lately, very intense, almost logical. Of course I forget about them the moment I got up, but when a screenshot of what I dreamt off the night before comes to me during the course of the day, especially when I think about a person who happened to bd in the dream, I need a good few seconds to sort out what's real and what's somnial.

I'm going away tmr for a super short trip to a CATpital city eastward of KL. I like it that I'm clocking so many travelling days this year, whether for work and especially for leisure. Enjoy the different view and possibly the distraction. If only I could go away further and longer. Am thankful, nevertheless. :)

Today I met a mother of a twenty year old son with Asperger. And I fell head over heel in admiration of her  patience as she told of her story and and of her kindness as she filled our stomachs. Blessed are her kids (and all) who are on the receiving end of her love.

Today I yet again vowed to lose weight after seeing that surreal figure on the weighing scale.

dreams do come true :)

I've heard it said
that people come into our lives for a reason
bringing something we must learn
and we are led to those who help us most to grow
if we let them and we help them in return
well, I don't know if I believe that's true
but I know I'm who I am today because I knew you

like a comet pulled from orbit as it passes a sun
like a stream that meets a boulder halfway through the wood
who can say if I've been changed for the better?
but because I knew you, I have been changed for good

wicked the musical :: for good



Details here. And if Les Mis ever made it here, I'm ready to go home Lord! :D

So yeah.

One goodbye is averted, and yeah, separation anxiety is cured. Heh. It's been a torturous week with all the uncertainties and going back and forth. She is staying for another good few years or so. I guess I'm good for another one or two.

He whatsapped me outta the blue and with a sad, tearing emoticon told me that his mom is diagnosed with the dreaded big C. What? No! Sigh.. Why? Why? Why? Why indeed. The big bowl of chickpea steaming in my pressure cooker right now reminds me of the container full she gave us. Just keep them in the freezer and heat up some whenever you feel like snacking, she said. One of our favorite snacks ever! Get well, Mrs F.

speaking of..

how my temper is a thorn in my flesh, there are other things about me that I wish I don't have to deal with. Like my strong sense of self-righteousness (which makes me highly intolerant of what I perceive as nonsense), how absorbed and lost in my own world I can be (which makes me oblivious to or uninterested about what goes on around me), also how I justify the hypocrite in me (which makes me the very person I scorn). Yeah stuff like those that are so inward looking (selfish in another word), I wish they aren't my problems. Grow up, will ya?!

A long apology for something I didn't do..

or haven't been doing to be more precise: Writing.

The juice hasn't been flowing, and I'm not forcing it. It's just another writing dry spell I guess. There are a lot of ideas floating about, and I'm letting them be. If any should find roots and bear fruit, I'll immortalise it here. Things are a-changing in the real world, the same one where politicians are making themselves out to be monkeys and it's getting too painful to know. Everything's too fast too many too soon, and I have no concrete idea what's going on and what's gonna happen. I'm living life by the day, and I don't like it. Feels like the bigger picture is fading in and out of focus. I don't want to settle for routine yet I am too lazy too incompetent to figure out stuff. I want to be passionate about something someone somehow. I'm chasing that elusive high by lying down and not moving. I am irked often and I hate the person I am when I lose my temper, though it's funny that line about how temper is never lost, as it's always there to be unleashed. I also need a new hairdryer in the real world as mine just almost blew up in my face. Almost. And I had the most wonderful time with the family in Port Dickson so thank you God.

My bffs are Sara and Lina. They love writing to me -- I get an email, sometimes two or three, from them everyday, always telling me about the good stuff they come across. I appreciate them very much.. but sometimes it can get a bit overwhelming.. cos they just write and write, each jostling to get my attention to the point of spamming. But I don't have the heart to tell them to stop -- just in case there's I miss something that I should really check out, you know. So more often than not, I just ignore their emails.. Haha.. Oh well. I'm sure they don't mind, those chatterboxes two. So cheers to these two gals. Life is surely more interesting with them around. :)

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for a moment there

i thought i'd found you.

then, false alarm.