[via]

[sigh]
I need words as wide as sky

I need a language large as this longing inside

and I need a voice bigger than mine

and I need a song to sing you that I've yet to find

I need you, oh, I need you I need you, oh, I need you

to be here now, to be here now

to hear me now, to hear me now

david crowder band :: I need words

This was the first song off the first album I own from the band. I didn't know their work prior to that, but before the song was over, I knew I would be a fan for life. Like many songs I love, this spoke for me when I couldn't, and it still does.

unhinged.

I rolled the blinds up and scanned the cityscape from my usual vantage point. The edge of the city was in plain view, a sea of blue and grey, bathing in the afterglow of dusk. That soon gave way to darkness, but not completely; orange lights like polka dots illuminated the canvas. The city seemed quiet from where I was: comfortably encased in my room. I put David Crowder on, one song in particular and set it on repeat, a familiar and comforting tune. I heard a knock. It's 'em age-old unanswered questions at the door. Here we go again.

Take my heart, I lay it down at the feet of you who's crowned

Take my life, I'm letting go, I lift it up to You who's throned

I tensed up when I became conscious again of the different nameless tensions that I was supposed to hold in balance, knowing that I was merely a nerve tic away from letting something slip. A cloud of uncertainty hovered over me. A slight sense of anxiety took a seat on my left, I shifted uncomfortably. Then a tinge of sadness sat down on my right and took my hand; a reminder of the realities of life.. and that I was alive. I know that I'm privileged to afford these thoughts, but it is one luxury I could probably do without.

Take my fret, take my fear, all I have, I'm leaving here

Be all my hopes, be all my dreams, be all my delights, be my everything

I thought of the two TED Talks I watched last night: one of Elon Musk, scientist, inventor, explorer, dreamer extraordinaire, Tony Stark in the flesh, and I was awe-struck by his vision and articulation; and then I watched Hyeonseo Lee who struggled to explain in heavily-accented English (her third language after Korean and Chinese) how she escaped the horror that is North Korea and her subsequent effort in extracting her family. Two figures who couldn't be more different in every way, sharing on the same stage stories that inspire and ignite something in us. And I thought of the circumstances of their birth, their adolescence and adulthood, and asked God why.

Then I thought about the people I read in the news recently who had died senseless deaths. I thought about the people I read about elsewhere: Facebook, Quora, Wikipedia, Weibo, all of us who lead different lives that happened to converge on social media. I thought of the person whose psyche I've been trying to grasp, through his works and his words. I thought about a person who has been out of my mind a long time. I thought about my close friends who are halfway across the world. And the one who's in the same city. I thought about my parents and my siblings. I thought about my husband and about us. And I thought about me. And my mind took flight on a moon-bound rocket ship.

And it's just You and me here now, only You and me here now

You should see the view when it's only You

Open my eyes to see You in the bigger picture, to see You in our midst, to see that You know and care, to see how this is the way it's supposed to be, to see what it would be. Open my ears to listen to Your word when You speak, to listen to unspoken words, to listen to Your heart beat. Open my mind to grasp the all-encompassing knowledge of God, and to apply that in life, to love and kindness. Guide me in Your way everlasting, and let me understand what that means in practical terms.

ob·ses·sion

/əbˈseSHən/ noun

• The state of being obsessed with someone or something.
• An idea or thought that continually preoccupies or intrudes on a person's mind.

what can I do with my obsession? with the things I cannot see?

is there madness in my being? is it the wind that moves the trees?

sometimes You're further than the moon, sometimes You're closer than my skin

and You surround me like a winter fog, You've come and burned me with a kiss

and my heart burns for You, and my heart burns... for You

and I'm so filthy with my sin, I carry pride like a disease

You know I'm stubborn, Lord, and I'm longing to be close

Your burn me deeper than I know

I feel lonely without hope, and I feel desperate without vision

You wrap around me like a winter coat

You come and free me like a bird

My love for you, My heart for you, My life for you

all I am for you

david crowder band :: obsession (cover)

this is my favorite version because I first heard it from DCB, and David's distinctive voice burned this song into my head. check out the original by Delirious here and another great cover by Jesus Culture here.

:)

For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.
Romans 8:38-40 (NIV)

He is jealous for me, loves like a hurricane,
I am a tree, bending beneath the weight of his wind and mercy
when all of a sudden I am unaware of these afflictions eclipsed by glory
and I realise just how beautiful You are and how great Your affections are for me

david crowder band :: how he loves

are we left here on our own?
can you feel when your last breath is gone?
night is weighing heavy now
be quiet and wait for a voice that will say

come awake from sleep, arise
you were dead, you’ve come alive
wake up wake up, open your eyes
climb from your grave into the light
bring us back to life

you are not the only one
who feels like the only one
night soon will be lifted, friend
just be quiet and wait for the voice that will say

david crowder band :: come awake

well, hello there.. are you new in town?

we were playing with Shadow, Tab's lil doggie, over at Hoo's place on NY eve where Ruth threw a party with some very yummeh food (roast lamb, stuffed mushroom, pasta w pesto, chicken pot pie, brownies, cheesecakes.. she did most of all these, and more, by herself -- which made my christmas party looks like child's play in comparison :D).. where was i? oh yeah, playing with Shadow and Sunday and Sookie.. hehe yeah.. we were playing with them doggies (Shadow in particular) when this song came to mind..

for the times when i wondered what on earth is going on, and what is the point of all these, and why aren't things moving, and which road to take at the fork, and how could this happen, this song would be a reminder, an assurance, a promise.

i don't think i'd do a recap of the year gone by. a deceptively simple GOOD summarizes how i thought the past 365 days was. and i am thankful, for the ups and downs and the turning all around. as how the matt redman song goes: "every blessing you poured out I'll turn it to praise, and when darkness closes in, still I will say: 'Blessed be the name of the Lord!'"

2011 looks like CHANGE is going to take charge, so i strap myself in, arm myself with a prayer, and cue to the operator to let the ride begin!

david crowder band :: shadows

Life is full of light and shadow

O the joy and O the sorrow

O the sorrow

And yet will He bring dark to light

And yet will He bring day from night

When shadows fall on us

We will not fear

We will remember

When darkness falls on us

We will not fear

We will remember

When all seems lost

When we're thrown and we're tossed

We remember the cost

We rest in Him

Shadow of the cross

we are saying goodbye to 2010 in about 2 weeks.

*GULPS*
i don't think that i'm ready.

"You mean it's December??!!! This 12 month per year thing is a conspiracy. I swear, a year only has 2 months: January and December."
- the self-proclaim-all-knowing-multiple-nicknames lord chongy

hear ye, hear ye!


*goes into DENIAL mode*


btw a quick review of the year that is soon to go by:


while we are on youtube, here's my pick for the awesomest music video of the year:

OK Go - This Too Shall Pass

and a close runner up:

David Crowder Band - SMS (Shine)

#1
dinner with prema, hema & pet: my colls from the first job
piccadily’s at section 17
food was bordering on terrible, even when i tried to not be fussy :P
haven’t met them for like 9 months, and I almost cancelled on this one
cos I had needed to go home and pack (I was leaving for china the next morning)
glad i went
always enjoyed being in this group cos I’d be the youngest hahaha
my (ex)boss turns 40 this year, can’t believe it’s been 10 years since I’ve known her




#2
my most recent haul from bookxcess

zits – love it. could half relate to it. what more could i say? :D

calvin & hobbes – I just can’t get enough of the boy and his tiger. I half want my entire C&H collection be buried with me but that would be a waste, so who wanna call dibs on this most marvelous of collection? Gimme a tinkle. Hahaha..

jeeves – I was soooo glad that I decided to buy this cos I lurved it to bits. Ok, that might be a wee bit exaggerated but really, this is the kinda book that make me wanna stay up whole night and once I’m done would love to read the next one available. this was the 2nd book i brought with me to china, and the rest is history. hahaha.. I can’t wait for the coming Big Bad Wolf Sale!! I’m gonna get my hands on the entire collection (please God let them be dirt cheap!)




#3
supper at papa rich, pj old town
had our drinks al-fresco which was made it all the more awesome when lil whipped out her android phone and showed us this app
can’t remember what it’s called, but it shows all the constellations (neatly labeled) in the sky at any direction the phone is aimed at! ohsofascinating!!! :D
we were waving the phone all over ogling at ‘em shiney heavenly bodies :P
saw most of the major constellations, but couldn’t find the scorpio though :|




#4
one of the five times we had xiao long bao that day
despite Shanghai being the origin of this dish
and this restaurant on “Cheng Huang Miao” which purportedly serves the best
all five times were rather disappointing
trust me, any of the Canton-i restaurants in KL serves much better tasting xlb

for more pics of our china trip, go here and here.




#5
the Mexico pavilion
one of the last few pavilions we visited on our trip to the Shanghai Expo
I like how these look like giant geometrical mushrooms against the dusky sky :)




#6
also taken at the expo
I title this piece “night/day”
go figure ;)


for more pics of us at the shanghai expo, go here.




#7
porridge from this Cantonese restaurant (cannot rber the name – 18 something :P) in Fahrenheit 88
we got quite a deal as there was an branch opening promo (buy 1 free 1) so this cost us like 6bucks per bowl
really yummy – it has like 8 items inside – century eggs, chicken, fish, prawn, scallops, crunchy cruller, etc




#8
tackling the TTDI jogging trail with lil
a relatively easy one
(i know, cos i could talk the entire time, and i spent twice the time here compared to the bukit gasing trail which leaves me huffing and panting in 15mins :D)
last Sunday evening was my third time in three weeks going for a walk
I hope the streak won’t be broken




#9
dinner with hubby at fig & olive in sunway pyramid
the night before deepavali
that was maghribi chicken and olive rice
quite delicious and looks healthy
this place is worth a second visit




#10
view from my parents’ bed
the now very dilapidated home where I grew up
the plank wall is as old as I am
that wall light hasn’t been working since I was in school
and the cheesy calendar pages from c.2005 covering the two walls
dropped by my parents’ place on Saturday after a very nice dimsum brunch w J
chatted about stuff, and mom trying to serenade me with her guzheng skill (I’m not very impressed but don’t tell her that HAHAHA I’m just glad she likes whatever she’s doing)




#11
outside the house, on the way out to the main road
i've always loved the view
and the quietness
the lush trees
i guess all the nutrients from decomposing bodies help hahaha
and in broad daylight it doesn’t seem so scary right :)




#12
the last time Jersoon played for me
he and Clara have recently graduated and more recent still have received and accepted job offers in Spore
I think I’m still trying to come to term with this loss to the team

but I wish them the very best – at that age, the world’s their oyster :)




#13
lunch with chongy
departure lounge, damansara utama
she had to layan herself for a whole hour cos I was ignoring her :D
I had needed to work on the powerpoint slides for my church anniversary the following day
my fault for having delayed it (sorry, chongy + anniv organizing comm.)
btw I concur with the her friends’ observation that she has developed a sense of style and dressing that go well with her ;)

for pics of my church anniv, go here.


last but no least:
i just *HEART* this music video from David Crowder Band – it just oozes the awesomeness that are stop-motion and Lite-Brite. see it pwease! :D

david crowder band :: shine (SMS)

i know what love is
i bask in its splendor
i balk at its sacrifice

and i pride myself of these things
sometimes

but who am i kidding.

He is jealous for me

loves like a hurricane

I am a tree bending beneath the weight of his wind and mercy

when all of a sudden

I am unaware of these afflictions eclipsed by glory

And I realise just how beautiful You are

And how great Your affections are for me

And oh, how He loves us so,

Oh how He loves us,

How He loves us all

We are His portion and He is our prize,

Drawn to redemption by the grace in His eyes,

If His grace is an ocean, we're all sinking.

And Heaven meets earth like an unforeseen kiss,

And my heart turns violently inside of my chest,

I don't have time to maintain these regrets,

When I think about, the way?

mmhmm.

Is it escape? Is it a coping mechanism? Maybe a bit, but I feel that it is much more than that. The song becomes a hopeful defiance. A declaration that the injustices and absurdities of our postmodern existence are not the final downbeat. Music becomes a confession of disbelief in the world that surrounds me.

[jf]

you should see the stars tonight
how they shimmer shine so bright
against the black they look so white
coming down from such a height
to reach me now, reach me now

you should see the moon in the flight
cutting cross the misty night
softly dancing in sunshine
reflections of this light
reach me now, you reach me now

and how could such a thing
shine its light on me
and make everything beautiful again

and you should feel the sun in the spring
coming out after a rain
suddenly all is green
sunshine on everything
i can feel it now, i feel you now

and how could such a thing
shine its light on me
and make everything beautiful

and you should hear the angels sing
all gathered round their king
more beautiful than you could dream
i've been quietly listening
you can hear 'em now, i hear em now

and how could such a king
shine His light on me
and make everything beautiful
and i wanna shine
i wanna be light
i wanna tell you it'll be alright
and i wanna shine and i wanna fly
just to tell you now
it'll be alright, it'll be alright
it'll be alright

'cos i got nothing of my own to give to you
but this light that shines on me shines on you
and makes everything beautiful, again
it'll be alright, it'll be alright

david crowder band :: stars (from the mount wilson observatory)

R.AGE ran a twitter contest yesterday, giving out passes to watch Tokio Hotel live in Msia. and i won myself a pair!! :D i think this is the first time i've won anything esp at 1st try. hehe.. ^.^ erm, one kink though -- the ONLY thing i know about Tokio Hotel is its androgynous front man, Bill Kaulitz, and that's cos he is often parodied in some site i follow. hahaha.. and now because of the contest, i also know that they are a German pop rock band founded in magdeburg, germany, and that the line "wir müssen jetzt durch diese wand" is from their song called ubers ende der welt (over the end of the world). urm, ok. hahaha.. i would exchange the passes for a meal of pork schnitzels and bratwurst sausages (hold the sauerkraut please), but failing an offer i'd go to watch them ler. :D

isn't he pretty? and the hair! the hair..

i would very much in this lifetime like to see some of my fav acts in action: relient k, mae and the david crowder band.. and possibly owl city. :D [yes, in this order] and switchfoot again but i think the odds are mocking me. le sigh. speaking of mae, i found this youtube clip - so cute, so sad.. love the song!

mae :: we're so far away

ooh so pretty! she squealed
her heart pounded as her eyes feasted
ravishing sapphire and sublime ruby
oh my i can't decide, she hesitated
mm.. but i've always loved blue

and she lives happily ever after.

O God, hold me now
O Lord, hold me now
there's no other man who could raise the dead
so do what You can to anoint my head
O God, where are you now?
O Lord, say somehow

the david crowder band :: O God where are You now? (in pickerel lake? pigeon? marquette? mackinaw?)




please be here.