Is it Friday night or Saturday morning? I'd say both. It's been some fairly long couple of weeks being busy with work, which was altogether tiring but good. Work does give us a sense of purpose so I'm not complaining. There were some ups and downs but nothing too major that I'd wanna write about. Racked up some sleep debt and have been trying to pay it off the whole week, except for tonight, because no one does that on a Friday night. Got home from work early today and spent the evening watching this awesome anime on time travel which I hope to write about - just two more episodes to go! Anticipating an awesome weekend ahead, which would be over before I knew it but ah, gonna live in the moment and not think about Monday for now.

Mm random comment, the new Selangor MB has been sworn in. Honestly, I don't like this fella and I don't trust him and srsly, he needs to spend the rest of these few years in office making up for the past three months. I don't know if he'd ever gain my trust, but who am I right? Good night.

I'm in that stage of my cold where I'm not incapacitated by what's just a heavy head, running nose, mild cough and itchy throat. It's not bad enough to make me want to start popping pills or chugging cough syrup but it's bad enough that I'm rather irritable and all I want to do is to curl up in bed and watch some new anime I picked up from a Quora thread and doze off. But of course of I have a speech to rewrite and a stack of info to rake through and an email to shoot off, all which I've already put off for one day. But of course I'm procrastinating.

Okay, I don't know what I did, but now all photos I've uploaded here are gone. All I see is that grey No Entry sign. It must have happened when I  muck up the Settings on Google Photos. Gargh! I don't quite know how to fix this. Bleh, have to trawl forums again. Grr. *annoyed*

***

I love working in the dead of the night. The quietness helps me to focus -- also the fact that if I had to work such hours means that a deadline is breathing down my neck. Alas, my aged body is vehemently against such arrangement. Today I am paying the price for staying up late on Monday night with my runny nose and scratchy throat and a body screaming for sleep. At least I got some work done.

Five months after the show's ended, I still feel a slight pang when I catch a glimpse of them on TV or read about them online. I wonder how affected I really am. Whoever knew I could be so sensitive. Whatever reason do I have to feel so entitled?

Alice.

I love me a serendipitous find, and I love that I found Alice. I love how it sounds ethereal and poignant at the same time, like a beautiful sadness of sort.. and the words evokes a kind of wistfulness that I can't quite put my finger on, so yeah, this has been driving me blithely loopy this whole week.

I'm not sure if the title is based on Alice in Wonderland (there's a footnote in the video description that indicates such, but I don't know if it was just an opinion or if the author meant it that way) but I was drawn to the video by the name alone.. Growing up, AiW was one of my fav books, and even though I pretended to get flustered when people teased me by that name, I've always felt an affinity to it. I don't suppose this song has to do with her though, the lyrics tell of a different story, and based on the author's description about the song, it's something like this:

There are two of them, let's call them A (girl) and B (boy). It's a song from B's point of view, who's keeping an eye on A. I don't know if A realized B's feelings. They are always together, helping or counting on each other when facing troubles, but somehow they are not able to be in love with each other. And B did reckless things, and lost many things.—

Such is the story. I think that there are many people who have experienced this in them. And if you heard a sigh in this song, it means you have an experience which had passed your own happy summer.

Make what you want of that. Btw if you think that the singer sounds like a robot, it's because she is. The singer, Hatsune Miku (初音ミク), according to wiki "is a humanoid persona voiced by a singing synthesizer application developed by Crypton Future Media, headquartered in Sapporo city..." And she is personified as a 16-year-old girl with long turquoise pigtails, like this ----------------------------->

I think she's cute and I could see her appeal and if I had the chance I would like to attend one of her concerts (yes) just for the kick of it. I like robot machine android thingamagic. What's not to like about them? Predictable, efficient, objective, cold as iced cola on a hot sunny day what? Hmm, I think it's the same reasons I like cities. Blocks after blocks of dour, stately facades with a million stories behind their walls. Err what? And I can't explain this, but it's also why I'm for Germany this World Cup. Haha, let's move on before I lose you completely.

S said something yesterday that almost got me saying YES! out loud - "Sometimes I think my heart will burst from having too much feels." That's my exact thought, esp every time I ber-emo and ber-drama. How I wish I were a robot sometimes! I don't trust emotions too much cos I've seen the damage they could inflict and yet I'm brimming to the rim with so much feels I don't know what to do with them! If only it's transferable, I think the hub could use with a good dose =) But how terribly dull life would be without a good shot of zealous passion every now and then kan? I think I'll take leave now, right after I say amen! to Adam's quote below. =)

#WiseOwl Wednesday. pic.twitter.com/6JEkwxoykW
— Owl City (@owlcity) July 2, 2014

Romaji Toi, toi, waraenai hanashi Itsuka, boku ga inakunatta nara Fukai, fukai mori ni ochita Kimi wa hitori de yukundaze Tsunaida te ni wa yawaraka na taion Nigitta yubi ga yururi, hodoketara Kareta neiro no kane ga naru Kimi wa hitori de yukundaze Sono mama futari ayunde hitori Usotsuku koe mo mou taedae ni Utsumuki futari kage ga hitotsu Boku mo hitori de yukundaze? Kimi wa awai koi ni ochita Takai takai gake ni saku hana "Todokanai naa." Wakatteru kuse ni Kondo wa hitori de yukundaze Toi, toi, waraenai hanashi Itsuka, boku ga inakunatta nara Fukai, fukai mori ni ochita Kimi wa hitori de yukundaze Sore kara hitori aruite hitori Usotsuku koto mo mou tsukareta. Utsumuki hitori kogane no heya Kimi to futari de itandaze Boku wa fukai mori ni ochita. Kuroku susukete yogoreta kajitsu Sore de owari sore dake no hanashi Kimi wa hitori de yukundaze

English A long, long time ago, in a tragedy If ever comes a day that I go away Deeper and deeper into the forest I'll fall From that moment on, you’ll go alone Feeling a warm temperature in the hands we hold If ever comes a day they gently unfold A dry bell will sound echoing on its own From that moment on, you’ll go alone For we are two of a kind, when we walk, we are one The sound lies being told disappear like the sun And now we both bow our heads, only a single shadow Didn’t you know that I was also going alone? You fell into love of a gentle kind With a flower on top of a high, high cliff “It’s so hard to reach”, I know you know So this time, you’ll have to go alone A long, long time ago, in a tragedy If ever comes a day that I go away Deeper and deeper into the forest I'll fall From that moment on, you’ll go alone And I am one of a kind, when I walk, I am alone I’ve grown weary of lying to the bone Now I bow my head in this golden room I was here with you, and now it’s gone too soon In a forest deep, I sank and I knew I’m a charred and dirty forsaken fruit And that is the end, there’s nothing more to recount From this moment on, you’ll go alone

Hi, I'm E and I'm an info junkie. Quora is my drug of choice, and Wikipedia a close second, but I dabble with everything else out there on the interweb that catches my fancy. I love the immediate gratification of having known something I didn't just a moment ago, but it sucks to know that I'm just mindlessly consuming bytes and bits of information and not using them for greater good. I am probably over-stimulated, but what can I say, I love it.

And like the adage that goes, "a little knowledge is a dangerous thing", I'm a pretty dangerous person hehe. Aish, the thing is, knowing that there's so much knowledge out there that's beyond my grasp just make me feel so... stupid. And that's my problem. I hate to feel stupid, so I read, but the more I read, the more stupid I feel. So yeah, classic catch-22!

Srsly, if I could monetize all the information I've read, I should be pretty rich. Or if I could translate them into applicable skills, I should be pretty successful. Or if that would at least make me an interesting conversationalist, I would be the life of a party, and perhaps even my own talk show.

Unfortunately, I'm also an information bulimic -- I probably retain only 1.7% of everything I've tirelessly consumed, the rest are gone with the wind into the dead of the night~

It just hit me as I was reading a wiki entry on rapping as if I have any business knowing more on that subject matter (but it's obvious how I got there, isn't it? :).

offloading.

Ahh the weather just screams "blog something!".. okay, not screaming, just gently suggesting. It's gloomy and gray outside and I could see a light drizzle but I'm lovin' it. Okay, let's get to it.

I've been thinking, the past four years (roughly 2010 onward) felt like it has only been just one year. You know how I always lament that time passes by so quickly, I suppose the past 1,460 days felt exactly right as a year and not four. Memory-wise at least, everything seems so recent. It's like I've just joined the company, I've just left my old church, I've just grown closer to my present group of friends... I suppose the birth of this blog back then marked the beginning of that "new year", and when I read back the entries, they didn't seem like it was another lifetime ago.

Maybe the leap year is there for the reason that it signifies a complete cycle, that each one should consist of four trips around the sun instead of one. Maybe time isn't linear as how we usually measure it, but something more dynamic and differs from one individual to another but we use standard time-keeping so that we could be on the same page. And this change only starts once you hit 30. So by that measure, I'm 31 going on 32, which is exactly how old I feel. I love it how pieces of puzzles like these make perfect logic-defying sense in my head. Haha!

I've also wondered if I'm going through some sort of midlife crisis. I'm 35 (in conventional year *cough*) this year, right about the halfway mark to 70 which is how long I expect to live. So yeah, like some people who go through MLC with a new sports car and a younger wife, I seek other forms of excitement.. like, I never expected to like Chinese pop music, but I went crazy over Leehom which made me a happy bunny for a good long time. And I certainly never in a million years would have expected to be a fan of Eminem, no more than I would have expected myself to ever like K-pop (it hasn't happen yet, but at the rate things are going, who knows!). Maybe I like that he's so far removed from my world but here I am, probably close to exhausting all online links with his name and trying to talk myself out of the crush (yes) by constantly questioning myself and slowly expanding my base to other hip hop artists.

But just as it was with every other musician or band or singer that I like, I don't go very far off base. I will check out their peers who are of equal standing if not more superior (like how I checked out Jay Chou for Leehom), but my loyalty and connection are already sealed with that one entity in that given space and time. I find it impossible to rank the musicians/bands/singers I like (and by these I mean the ones I was really into, where I've heard their entire catalog of songs, not the ones where I just like one or a few songs).. I feel a deep connection with each of them, and each is different from the other because I relate and bond with them at different season of my life.. so even if I don't listen to them very often now, their importance doesn't fade and I can instantly feel the same fervency when I hear any of their songs. And this journey, I must say that I'm thrilled (and perhaps a little wary) of what's going on, but I will ride the wave out.

You know, there was this line from Em's latest song that struck a chord with me, when he rapped, "Say f--- it before we kick the bucket, life's too short to not go for broke." Not that I want to be reckless, but I've been thinking about that a while now and have been wondering what that means for me. I've always felt that I'm holding back, perhaps stemming from a strong need to feel that I'm in control. I also feel like I've been waiting a long time for something but I have no idea if whatever that is is coming or not. I still feel that I'm living a lot for myself, and of course I'm fine with it, but I'm just not sure if.. Hmm, maybe I'll just continue waiting. It's a good place to be, I won't deny that, but I'm just hoping I'm not missing the boat or bus or train or flight to wherever I'm supposed to go.

Anyway, I don't know how long or how deep I would be wading in these waters, but I wish I had discovered it earlier! I really love the wordplay and verbosity afforded by hip hop. There's so much more room to tell a story or to express one's thoughts and feelings. And to have the stories in rhymes, now that's music to my ear. I just think it takes mad skills to spit a string of cohesive rhyme so I'm practically awestruck over and over again. And the raw honesty is definitely a major pull factor for me. And yes, I'm all too aware of and will not deny the violent/misogynistic/offensive aspects found in rap songs but hey, it's not confined to this genre. Summer song darlin' Robin Thicke's Blurred Lines is a wolf in sheep's clothing, which is worse.. so yeah, I'm navigating with caution, and I believe my friends will keep me in check too. At this point, I'm just enjoying rapping as a sublime art form. Bleh, I think my endurance for coarse language is stronger now (thanks but no thanks, Em).

Moving on, I find reading my personality description to be such a relief most times. It assures me that I'm not weird (or at least if I was, that I'm not the only one). True to my ISFP character which is described as being "intense people who experience their emotions on an intense level. Although they may appear to be light-hearted, they are in fact extremely serious, and take their relationships seriously", I experience very strong, almost overwhelming, emotions that I feel like I have no control over (e.g. as shown in my response to my favorite music). It's like there's a giant magnifying glass and my emotions are like the sunlight going through it and hitting one spot that is me. I am averse to being run over by emotions and yet I still experience it through and through. This is what I mean when I feel like I'm driving myself insane. I hit very high highs where I feel like I could take on the world. Like the haiku that I wrote, I cannot begin to describe the level of satisfaction and pride and contentment and depth that I felt when those words were formed, first in my heads as fragmented description of what I was feeling and scattered pieces of what I was thinking about, and later when I manage to collect and have them materialise as typed words. In those three lines and 14 syllables was captured my entire state of being at that moment in time, and to have it down in written words is just so... so good. But that all those feelings could be so consuming and amplified to the point where I think I might implode. And then when I snap out of the stupor, I'll be staring at those three lines and 14 syllables and not being able to imagine anyone else seeing them beyond that. Have I unwittingly convinced you that I need to be institutionalised? Hehe!

Also, we ISFPs are also said to "may have a problem with communication. With Introverted Feeling dominating their personality, they are more vulnerable than most to being hurt. Perhaps because of this, they tend to hold back part of themselves from others, and do not always say what they think or feel. This is especially true during conflict situations, which the ISFP abhors more than anything in the world. Confrontations and arguments are very difficult for the ISFP to deal with. They feel personally threatened in these situations." I told you that I hold myself back. Mm, since this is part of my character, I wonder if I could break out of it. And yes, no conflict please, can we all just get along, here have some cornflakes kthnxbai.

Anyways, I'm done writing for now. Just want to get some stuff off my chest. I love this blog for this very reason! *breathes normal again*

unhinged.

I rolled the blinds up and scanned the cityscape from my usual vantage point. The edge of the city was in plain view, a sea of blue and grey, bathing in the afterglow of dusk. That soon gave way to darkness, but not completely; orange lights like polka dots illuminated the canvas. The city seemed quiet from where I was: comfortably encased in my room. I put David Crowder on, one song in particular and set it on repeat, a familiar and comforting tune. I heard a knock. It's 'em age-old unanswered questions at the door. Here we go again.

Take my heart, I lay it down at the feet of you who's crowned

Take my life, I'm letting go, I lift it up to You who's throned

I tensed up when I became conscious again of the different nameless tensions that I was supposed to hold in balance, knowing that I was merely a nerve tic away from letting something slip. A cloud of uncertainty hovered over me. A slight sense of anxiety took a seat on my left, I shifted uncomfortably. Then a tinge of sadness sat down on my right and took my hand; a reminder of the realities of life.. and that I was alive. I know that I'm privileged to afford these thoughts, but it is one luxury I could probably do without.

Take my fret, take my fear, all I have, I'm leaving here

Be all my hopes, be all my dreams, be all my delights, be my everything

I thought of the two TED Talks I watched last night: one of Elon Musk, scientist, inventor, explorer, dreamer extraordinaire, Tony Stark in the flesh, and I was awe-struck by his vision and articulation; and then I watched Hyeonseo Lee who struggled to explain in heavily-accented English (her third language after Korean and Chinese) how she escaped the horror that is North Korea and her subsequent effort in extracting her family. Two figures who couldn't be more different in every way, sharing on the same stage stories that inspire and ignite something in us. And I thought of the circumstances of their birth, their adolescence and adulthood, and asked God why.

Then I thought about the people I read in the news recently who had died senseless deaths. I thought about the people I read about elsewhere: Facebook, Quora, Wikipedia, Weibo, all of us who lead different lives that happened to converge on social media. I thought of the person whose psyche I've been trying to grasp, through his works and his words. I thought about a person who has been out of my mind a long time. I thought about my close friends who are halfway across the world. And the one who's in the same city. I thought about my parents and my siblings. I thought about my husband and about us. And I thought about me. And my mind took flight on a moon-bound rocket ship.

And it's just You and me here now, only You and me here now

You should see the view when it's only You

Open my eyes to see You in the bigger picture, to see You in our midst, to see that You know and care, to see how this is the way it's supposed to be, to see what it would be. Open my ears to listen to Your word when You speak, to listen to unspoken words, to listen to Your heart beat. Open my mind to grasp the all-encompassing knowledge of God, and to apply that in life, to love and kindness. Guide me in Your way everlasting, and let me understand what that means in practical terms.

[via]

I am curious about everything and nothing at all. // That was the driest piece of butter cake I've had in a while; I can't believe it was allowed to board; oh the travesty. // 1950s, Des Moines, Iowa. // Entertain me, Phantom. // Died and came back to life. The laptop is here to tell it all. // When Men Were Horses. // 1970s, peat swamps. // Clair de lune, Claude Debussy, "Music is the space between the notes." // Narrow the gap by one pixel. // Wish you were there, but no, I won't be alone. // An artist who doesn't draw, sing, write. // Cats, sigh. // Everything and nothing at all.

It's Friday evening, and if my quick calculation is anything to go by, this is approximately the 1,805th Friday of my life. Wow, that's a lot of Fridays. And by statistics, I should have another 1,805 more to go. This is, after all, mid-life. But that sounds nice. To have close to two thousand Fridays more to enjoy. Close to two thousand more weekends in my life.

I was born on a Monday. I can't remember if I was an AM child, or a PM child. AM if I'm not mistaken (no idea how I ended up such a night owl!). So I came into this world wailing and flailing about, just as everyone was dreading the start of the week. I'm assuming of course, this aversion to Monday has been around for at least that long. Or was that another time that people lived in?

I'm waiting for traffic to ease up before heading home. Pleased with the predictability. Looking out through the slit between the window and blinds to a hazy view of the city; thought that it's not unlike peering into my mind. Wondering why the rain didn't wash away the blanket of dust.

I think I'm gonna take a quick shut eye (yes, in the office). Happy weekend! :)

F for Friday, F for friendship, F for falalalala..

we're saying goodbye to the first half of 2013 in 2 days' time! O_O

i wonder if i'd ever stop having that deer in headlights expression every time i think about time passing us by like the White Rabbit rushing for his appointment (did he make it? was it with the Mad Hatter? how did the story go again??) i probably would, about the same time i'd stop grimacing when people confuses 'you're' with 'you'. which is like never. i'm so predictable.

anyways, here's to happy thoughts and a serendipitous weekend ahead! mine will be a busy one (sis is coming back! ^_^); busy is not a bad thing, but it's just that i was looking forward to catching up on my sleep. because i'm too old to get myself into sleep debts. i'm thirty friggin' five this year. srsly, when did i get so.. old? blah blah blah. will i be pretty? will i be rich? here's what she said to me: que sera sera, whatever!

okay, i need to go now. this queen of procrastination needs her butt kicked. i love me but sometimes i can be too much, you know? SOMEONE KICK ME IN MY DERRIERE.

oh, oh, before that! i would like to dedicate this song from David's latest album, in a collaboration with Crowd Lu (i used to laugh at his name)(i still snicker - sorry!), called 逗陣兄弟 Brothers, to my galfwens (i already made the dedication on FB, but would like to immortalize it here in my blog) so, roll call: J, D, S, C, A (sorry but I don't usually like to name names here)(but why?)(mm haven't gotten that figured out)(...) anyways, i wuv you gals. your friendship means the world to me, and i thank God for blessing me so richly. muaks muaks all around.




sorry okay, no translation this time. cos it's Friday lah. ;)

another one of those days..

that I want to just drive on and not reach a destination.

what a week this has been. and it's not even over!

i'm not going to try to list everything out or even to summarize it, but basically i have been so riled up by irresponsible parties stirring up racial sentiments and thankfully was later mollified by the magnanimity shown by my fellow countrymen. i'm tired from the long week and the emotional upheaval, so i take my hat off to the leaders who endured a merciless schedule during the campaigning period and are still relentlessly soldiering on.

so that's that.

i'm still trying to finish my assignment, which interestingly covers a topic on procrastination hahaha! some of the "tips for overcoming procrastination" as prescribed by the study notes are:

• identify and eliminate your personal time wasters
• free yourself from distractions
• maximise the use of your peak time when you are most effective
• just do it

srsly, it's easier said than done. my main distraction is obviously the internet, but the thing is, i need it to research for stuff, so if i go offline, i might as well not do anything. so how lah? le sigh. anyway, i'm gonna try #7: force yourself to spend the next 10 minutes at the task you are putting off. *keeps fingers crossed* ttfn!

quick update @7:05PM
that kinda worked - yay! but i was distracted for a good 15 minutes before i could actually force myself to focus. still, yay!

Wish I was dreaming instead.

It's 3:33AM as I started writing this. I am going to pay for it dearly tmrw. I suspect alcohol is the culprit. I know it is supposed to knock ppl out, but this isn't the first time I have had trouble sleeping after a few glasses. Makes me wonder...

Celebrated Ck2's wedding earlier in the evening. I still remember him walking down the aisle with us a little over ten years ago as our bestman, he must have been 17 then. How time flies! Dinner was held at Doubletree Hilton, and it was a splendid affair.

But what I enjoyed most is to be able to catch up with old friends---save for that one awkward "friend" who was on my table---I've given up trying to figure out what had happened to again have driven a wedge between us and why is she so weird and what's up with her stuck-up attitude and what we are (basically that stage where it's worse than being strangers) so yeah, whatever! *just annoyed that we were seated together*

(can't believe I spent a para ranting abt this, but really, it's the first time in the X years that I've known her that I've actually wrote this so excuse me for being ticked off)(honestlyyyy thoughhh, i think i could have been just as inscrutable---perhaps we are both diff sides of the same coin, just never meant to meet)(oh well).

That aside, it was nice to know what everyone has been up to, and what are the changes that have happened or are happening.. and how everyone's kids are doing..Like how I can't believe J's turning 21! And Auntie S is retiring in a week's time! And Uncle & Auntie L's trip to Iceland (alas they missed the Aurora), and Auntie J's globetrotting son's adventures, and lil G's straight A's SPM results.. I had a good night ^_^

Oh and my hair behaved very well today, and I'm pleased.

Btw I have started going for weekly vocal lessons (2nd class today). The centre's run by a Philipino husband-wife duo, allllthe way in Subang. Distance notwithstanding, I am not too keen on their method (plus todate, they have not tested the quality of my voice -- doubt they cld really hear what it really sounds like over the karaoke music and amplified mic with echo.) Still undecided if I wld continue after this month. I have two more lessons before I decide so we'll see.

Yikes it's 3:55AM!!! Thadd is preaching in Puncak Jalil tmrw morn. And I have a lunch appt to keep (thankfully a dinner appt is postponed---I really need to rest after this long week of being away at Miri for training and the delayed flight home and a full Saturday. I hope I won't fall ill---the weather has been erratic these few days, scorching hot one min and torrential rain the next). My alarm will ring at 8:00...sigh. I read that if I kept still for 15mins I'd fall asleep.. but how not to move over 15mins??

Okay 4:16AM. Imma again try to force myself to sleep. Good night. XOXO.

of ultralime and overprop.

there are just some words that i need to look up in the dictionary over and over and over again, because i just can't get the meaning into my head. and it certainly doesn't help when those words contain confusing syllables. haha i guess it's just me... anyway, two examples of such words are:

• sublime | (sub·lime) /səˈblīm/

adj.
of such excellence, grandeur, or beauty as to inspire great admiration or awe: "ranging from the sublime to the ridiculous".
v.
(of a solid substance) change directly into vapor when heated, typically forming a solid deposit again on cooling.
syn.
adj. lofty - grand - noble - exalted - elevated - stately
v. sublimate

why this word confuses me: every other sub-prefixed word i know has a negative connotation or paints an image that it's somewhat lesser or smaller than something. subpar, subjective, submarine/submerge (going under water), subdivision/subcommittee, subordinate... you get what i mean right? so, sublime is par excellence? who would have thought? -_-

• underpin | un·der·pin /ˌəndərˈpin/

v.
support (a building or other structure) from below by laying a solid foundation below ground level or by substituting stronger for...
support, justify, or form the basis for: "the theme of honor underpinning the two books".
syn.
support - prop - shore - prop up - buttres

again, anything that is under usually doesn't mean good: under the weather, under the table, underage, under-appreciated, under estimate, undergrad, underweight.. and pin conjures images of being pinned down, being poked, being nailed to the wall.. painful! it's under+pin! it should mean being pressed or under pressure.. sumfink liddat. but i see underpin being used in headlines like "China economy to underpin global demand in 2013" or "Commodities underpin rural economic growth".. which sounds negative but means like the total opposite.. what gives man? -_-

oh hello.

*groggy*

in the real world, the people of malaysia will be gathering at dataran merdeka this saturday to protest the current electoral system and demand for a clean and fair election. this rally will also concurrently happen in other cities around the world. i pray for good weather and that nothing untoward will happen. and that some people will start peeing in their pants. we will be seen and heard.

earlier the same day, i will be trying to get my hands on a buncha russell peters tickets. zul will try to make online purchase and i will try to get to one of the ticket outlets in a remote part of KL. i remain moderately hopeful. if we still fail at getting tickets, i will be very disappointed.

later the same day, i might be on my way down to singapore. it will be a short break for me. my parents would already be down by then as they are leaving on friday afternoon. i wasn't sure if i should go, thinking that it might be a frivolous trip and that i should save the couple hundred bucks given that i have two weddings the week after. but this would be the first time the family gathers in the lion city and i'm stoked.

it's going to be a surreal weekend. God is good.

if i were my blog, i'd probably battling with the questions of whether i the blogger love me the blog. if it isn't apparent, i'm going through the writing slump again. which might kinda reflect the state of my mental acuity: that nearing mush. i haven't been reading so much so that i have no idea where the last two books i was attempting to finish are. they are somewhere in some bags methinks. no idea.

anyway, i just read another blogger's tip for blogging: blog anyway. so here i am, blogging anyway. mm maybe i can share a couple of my resolutions for this year. i was past that stage of making resolutions to the stage of adamantly not making resolutions and it's come a full circle, i am making resolutions again. life's like that.

What has been will be again,
what has been done will be done again;
there is nothing new under the sun.
10 Is there anything of which one can say,
“Look! This is something new”?
It was here already, long ago;
it was here before our time.
Ecclesiates 1:9&10

two resos at the top of my head:

1. i want to learn to speak and read Chinese. time to break the mental resistance. i hope to hook up with one teacher some time this year, but knowing my knack for procrastination, any time NEXT year is fine too.

2. i want to minimize iPhone fiddling time when in a conversation. i often find it hard to focus when people talk, but i've gotta try!

kthnkbai4now.

what was in that tea?

bleh, another sleepless night. typing this on my laptop cos data usage on the iPhone is again at a precarious level. oh maxis, would it kill you to give us another few GBs or so? would it??

had a good few days off from the Raya and Merdeka hols. was supposed to be in als with jaz but i didn't wanna take friday off so the trip tak jadi for me. then there was supposed to be this 1 day makan trip up to ipoh with the husby's boss and wife, but that too was called off. guess i was meant to be in KL this week. :P

so yeah we met up with four Chinese church leaders who came in from Baguio for a week's trip en route home. had fun playing host, introducing them to malaysian food and people. went to Agong's Raya open house (first time in my life!)(missed the timing thou' so had to be content with just peering in from outside)(took pics with two malay families who were all dressed up for the occasion, explaining that it was so that our chinese visitors could see up close their traditional garbs, and they were very sporting!), walked about in Little India, Brickfields (almost bought a saree. if only!)(everything was so colourful) and KLCC (only viewed it from afar)(too many people).. i love thee, my dearest malaysia (that's soo corny but i can't think of another way of saying this, not at this hour).. 

got to meet up with PS & SP on the second day of raya -- which totally reminded me of the trips my mom used to bring us on when we were kids. mom has two good friends and she would take us on bus rides to jinjang (was it kepong?) or OUG to visit the aunties and sometimes we would stay over. so yeah, we were catching up on all the important details about our lives, our families, jobs, neighbors, in laws, boring auntie stuff like that.. and i totally love that what the three of us share is like what mom has when she was younger.. 

ah, it's september already. whoever let you creep up on us like that? 

I love you

Those three words doesn't roll off my tongue easily, especially if I have never say it to the person in particular. They do escape my lips sometimes, when I muster enough guts to utter it, but more often than not, I prefer to keep mum. Alas, there are a handful of people that I really want to tell how I have made for them some very cozy room in my heart.. and that I care.. and that I'm there :) But I guess some fears are more paralyzing than I could handle. I hope my actions would then speak for me (then again, I'm not a very action oriented person :P so I guess some people will never know)

That said, I would lose all inhibitions when it comes to cats. Erm yeah, I can go all gushy and would start professing sweet nothings and everlasting love to a random cute cat that I come across. Am I a cat slut?? Hahaha.. There is just something about how graceful the way they move, the I-couldn't-care-less attitude, how soft they feel in your arms, and the fear that they might just swing that paw and leave you with an unsightly scratch mark, all these that just melt my heart like chocs under intense spotlight. It's either you get what I'm saying or you don't. For those who do, check this out and smile/nod along with me! :)

The colourful shopfronts in Kch I was talking about. There's a whole stretch of 'em. Nice right!

Can't decide on a date to go for Wicked. I wanna do it in Dec, while the holiday mood is still in high swing.. But the only window is the week after Christmas.. But it's kinda tight, and I think there will be a lot of ppl. Don't wanna endure both traffic and human jams if I could help it. Maybe the first week of Jan (when everyone's still shaking off the holiday mood) but I don't know if the rest wanna, if they could settle on a date in the first place. Might be going on different dates :( It's def way more fun if everyone could make it on the same day but see how lah.

I was thinking democracy doesn't work all the time -- Obama should just call the shots and do what he thinks is best (in another word, totalitarianism ftw!)