somewhat sille, that's me!

life is chock-a-block of paradoxes. sometimes they are amusing, sometimes maddening, often inscrutable, rarely rational. what purpose do they serve? i don't pay them much attention these days for the sake of my well-being, but of course they don't really go away. sometimes i feel like they make fun of my denseness, my deer-in-headlights gaze, so i just pretend this is all normal, and they would fade into the background. i don't know why i brought this up. there's really nothing there. maybe it's because i feel like i owe you a blog post and have nothing to offer except for this piece of fairly nonsensical and vague thought.

mm maybe i should tell you the other things on my mind: how i can't wait for leehom's new music (and movies) coming out soon, or how i've been trying to figure out why and how david tao actually moves me deeper, and how that's perplexing given that i relate more to leehom, and with that how i also wonder about the dynamics of the single-direction virtual relationships i have with these two men, how frustrating it could be "talking" to them, one voice among thousands others, and what does any of the communication actually mean, and how sheepish i am knowing that you are reading this and you're wondering why i don't have better things to think about. *blush* well, i also think about the relationship (also virtual but thankfully two-way) i have with my one friend on weibo. and i also think about real-life relationships which i'm not good at growing, but which i suppose i should work on. i have also been thinking about my prayer life, but really, i just need to do rather than think. so many things to think about. let me sleep on them. good night folks.

david tao :: highways (instrumental)