somewhat sille, that's me!

He asked why this song resonated with me. I replied with a shrug. Maybe it does, maybe it doesn't. Maybe I just like the tune and how it makes me feel. Which is what? I don't know. Bleh, feeling slightly depressive right now, but do I want to really know why? I don't know.

Who is 23? Michael Jordan. And my mom when she had me. I was already in Standard 6 by the time she was my age now. Does that mean anything to me? How do I tell myself (or them) it's okay not to want the same things?

I'm without a doubt a Gen-Y'er; we the late 70s babies were caught in the transition between the two generations and I so happen to have my lot cast with the Y-ers, though I think I've some of the X-ers' sensibilities. I wonder what if I was born say two years earlier, just as my parents were married. What kind of head would I have on these shoulders? Maybe all these Y-quirks would be so foreign to me. I see some of my X-peers, and they are so.. grounded, so.. straight, and here I am, feeling somewhat lost but okay being so, if it makes sense. I kinda shudder thinking this is how I would feel at 40. I don't want to be an old woman with this mind screwed on. Oops did I just call 40 old? I'll eat my words in about 4 years.

It's so weird to read about people my age in the news, especially if they were incriminated for crimes, or if they died. Whatever could have led them down the road they took? At which point did they choose those roads less traveled? And to feel like I'm at the peak of my life at this point, the idea that it is cut short is quite devastating. But there's nothing one could do when one's number's up.

But hmm, the weekend is upon us! My remaining episodes of Elementary beckon. :D




Jimmy Eat World - 23

I felt for sure last night that once we said goodbye
No one else will know these lonely dreams
No one else will know that part of me
I'm still driving away and I'm sorry every day
I won't always love these selfish things
I won't always live, not stopping

It was my turn to decide, I knew this was our time
No one else will have me like you do, no one else will have me, only you

You'll sit alone forever, if you wait for the right time
What are you hoping for?
I'm here I'm now I'm ready, holding on tight
Don't give away the end, the one thing that stays mine

Amazing still it seems, I'll be 23
I won't always love what I'll never have
I won't always live in my regrets