I regarded the world as such a sad sight
until I viewed it in black and white
then I reviewed every frame and basic shape
and sealed the exits with caution tape
don't refocus your eyes in the darkness
and don't remember this place unless
I describe all the things that you cannot see
and we'll unravel the mystery

owl city :: dear vienna

yes, i would very much like to view the world in black and white, what with everything now being huge swabs of gray it isn't funny. but in my straitjacket, i could just stare, impatiently wishing for a blinding epiphany. maybe i should squint.

do you now see why i can't wait to finish this book? because i love a good page turner, and i could also do without the ruthless paper cuts. i also happen to know that there is a happy ending worth waiting for; sense will be made, mind will be blown. well, with that pair of hands swinging ever so rapidly and relentlessly, it's all soon and very soon. don't refocus your eyes in the darkness.

i'd wanted to tweet about it two days back, but i didn't manage to complete it. so when my sister told me that "sometimes when reading about the nonsense political issues that are raised, i actually feel like throwing up." and i was like, ME TOO!!! i was reading about some racist comment one idiot called zaini hassan (srsly, where is this factory that's churning out myopic morons like these? someone please bomb it..), when i felt like nak muntah. and that's what politics is like for those of us who can't handle it: nauseating. we need to continue praying for strength and wisdom for those who are intent on making a change in the nation.

read also: art harun's 1Malaysia Dalam Kenangan [thought of this when i was browsing Lat's Dahulu..Sekarang at kinokuniya today (think i'll get a copy next time -- very cheap, only RM16-18 per book.. maybe i should get the entire collection, one book at a time :)]

:)

For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.
Romans 8:38-40 (NIV)

He is jealous for me, loves like a hurricane,
I am a tree, bending beneath the weight of his wind and mercy
when all of a sudden I am unaware of these afflictions eclipsed by glory
and I realise just how beautiful You are and how great Your affections are for me

david crowder band :: how he loves

i have to confess (for i have heard that doing so does one good) if i have not already done so:

i don't know if i have really forgiven miss nomer (yes, the former boss from hell) for the torture chamber experience. what she has done to me, and what i have allowed to fester in my heart, these are still bugging me more often that i would like.

i can't say that i hate her per se, nor do i find myself wishing terrible things on her, and even in imagining a confrontation with her should i be so unfortunate, i am civil and mostly speechless.

but i can't pretend that i am not bitter. i might have forgotten many things and even to come accepting that it was something i needed to experience for myself, i can't help the occasional wave of anger remembering. the helplessness i felt of being a victim of a pint-sized bully.

but it's been so long. surely there are more pressing matters at hand. even if i was angry at myself for not speaking up when i had the opportunity to, haven't i put that behind me? why do the memories still bother me so.

maybe, just maybe, she is the embodiment of every other pain that i have written off, regrets i've never found closure for, the enemy that i could openly talk about. maybe that's why i kept her around.

[run along now, it's getting late. soon!]

again, i surrender this to You and ask that you search my heart and deal with it accordingly.

The paper boat set sail down the gentle stream, just drifting along. There was no wheel nor rudder, just the whim of the current. But the sky was amiable and there were fresh blooms, stereotypically dreamlike. Is that the thunder? The skipper pondered if she should lower the anchor.

See these leaves, creeping furtively up the sky. It feels like that sometimes.

Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily, life is but a dream.

hello, good morning, how you do?

was already late to work this morning (later than usual :P) but decided to stop halfway in my track to look up and take this pic.

wasn't feeling too well (been logging unusually long hours at the laptop the past two days, body hasn't has time to adapt) but now feeling better dy. ruing the two dinner appts that i had to cancel to finish what i needed to. boo hoo.

can't believe it's friday again! feels like it was just yesterday that rebecca black first enraptured the world over with the beautifully simple truth in her song. friday, friday, everybody's looking forward to the weekend, weekend. oh yeahh. but that's three weeks old now, and in internet age, three generations ago. erm, why did i have to bring her up.

545pm, come sooon!! gonna be cooking some pretty pasta for a homely dinner with a friend i haven't met in a while (ok, we've met recently but didn't have time to chat). i'll post pix. can't wait! hello, weekend.

the things we could do with this finite body of ours just makes for one endlessly amazing list, doesn't it? from everyday movement like standing (do you know what goes on in your ears for you to do just that?) and walking to complicated stuff like wall climbing and hitting a full drum set that require precise strength and coordination. all those in this fleshy, fragile being.

dancing is one such activity. the way our bodies sway and contort and stretch and pirouette and bend while keeping to a rhythm in embodying or expressing an idea.. i like! :) if only my two left legs weren't. ;) and oh, only if i am not so self-conscious.

anyways, this video kinda reminds me of you, chongy :)

are we left here on our own?
can you feel when your last breath is gone?
night is weighing heavy now
be quiet and wait for a voice that will say

come awake from sleep, arise
you were dead, you’ve come alive
wake up wake up, open your eyes
climb from your grave into the light
bring us back to life

you are not the only one
who feels like the only one
night soon will be lifted, friend
just be quiet and wait for the voice that will say

david crowder band :: come awake

#6
i always sing to songs i know. but i'm mostly humming cos i wouldn't know 98% of the lyrics. my cubicle in the little corner in the office was perfect cos no one would hear me. but now i have a new neighbor. i hope she would bring her own earphones soon. i don't wanna be distracting. hehe.. my former cubie neighbor, a kindly gentleman, didn't mind it, so he said.

there are many occasions when i have a song in my head that makes me wanna to burst out in songs.. but life is not a musical nor a flash mob. so i just hum. like a broken record.

and of course, the lift with its awesome acoustic. surely we all have sang out loud in one, haven't we :) i only don't sing when i'm sad. and when i'm in the shower.

Friendship takes place when one person says to another, What? You too? I thought I was the only one. - C. S. Lewis

31 days to bangkok. 28 days to singapore. 24 days to easter. 18 days til the hubs returns. 1 day til family reunion. i am blessed.

Another sleepless night. It's still young but I really need my rest tonight. Will be administering an exam tmr morn, need to wake up at 6. Oh the sleep I sacrifice just to earn that extra dollar. ;) Still, am thankful.

Sibs are back from Singapore!! So looking forward to seeing them again :) hopefully can sneak some time and go for a haircut with sis tomorrow. Gonna be roasting me some fine porky lol! Parents want a slab to go Qing Ming with. Dad thought it was better to get me to do it instead of buying cos it's cheaper that way.

Btw check out twitter.com/thaddellis (it's set to private, so you'd need an account to follow it. maybe later i'll open it up). I'm also in the midst of setting up a blog for Thadd (i guess all my social networking tool skills do come in handy. I wish i could just stay behind the scene in his ministerial work! :) it's kinda done, doing some dry runs, whatever that means :) will promote it once the man gives the green light.