somewhat sille, that's me!

jas's dad texted her the other day, "U have a good day 2! EAT WELL, ok? We r wht we eat. Dun follow your heart 2 often as far as food is concerned. LUV :-)" and later "sometimes it's good 2 take measured risks n follow yr heart. Then jus say a little prayer... that makes life interesting! ha ha" which led me to LOL-ing because (1) it's the cutest thing ever; and (2) i felt like i have been following that advice all along. whether i really did, i don't know, but in my mind, i'd like to think so.

i used think that i was fearless, back when i was younger. whatever gave me that idea, i don't know. i seem to have the impression that there have been enough times when i took risks with implications bigger that i could grasp, be it in my studies, career, relationships.. maybe it's that lack of understanding coupled with my impatience that led me to plunging myself into the unknown. my head might noisily protest, but it's the heart that i'm partial to. but i'd like to think that my head wins enough battles too.

anyway, as i now contemplate a career move (something that i never planned to do just two weeks ago, how things can change so quickly!), i realize what a huge chicken i am. i don't know if it's fair to still blame my fears on miss nomer's crimes, but i do. because if i ever had another boss from hell, i will just die. like D-I-E. ok i won't. but i honestly rather rot here and stink this whole place up than having to face another nasty piece of work. i know how stupid that sounded, but ergh.. sigh.

anyway again, i've updated my CV, updated Linked In, clicked on Jobstreet ads, went for one interview, and now just sitting back and praying and praying and praying for what's next. and both my heart AND head are pounding. good for them.