i tried to justify it as NOT cheating, but my friends wouldn't buy it. sigh.

remember my Lent promise? so I received an email from the youtube subscription to wlh and it linked to his Google+ account, and announced that he would be having a Hangout+ session with selected fans some time next week for those who have "burning questions" for him. so i figured out that since i wasn't (a) listening to his songs (b) googling him (c) facebooking him, and (d) weibo-ing him, I thought I found myself a nice loophole. so i posted some questions and was hoping to be picked.

i could well not said anything because no one who knows what i am doing is on G+ (srsly, i can count on one hand the number of ppl i know who are active on G+) but my conscience wouldn't let me off so easily. so i told D what I was doing, and then J, and yeah, hahahahaha... fine, fine... it's the principle of the matter kan? fine, fineeeee... :D so, i'll add no G-plussing leehom to the list okay? sheesh. hehe.. gosh, i hope i won't get selected!

anyway, other than that, i have been holding on quite okay. i'll admit it feels weird and that i miss weibo and all, but it's nice to revisit some of the songs i have long not heard, and some new ones. i now listen to scripture reading on my iPhone on the way to work (somehow i never thought to do that before)(thanks, youversion) and sing along to old worship songs when I'm in SMART (amazing how i still remember most of the lyrics of songs I haven't sang in years).. so it's all good yo. ^_^

oh, by the way...

friend:
well, i can get on the internet and facebook. i asked to install google chrome but they wouldn't let me. weird cuz they let my colleagues working in other [buildings].

oh, and a dead body was found outside of our hospital this morning. he apparently was shot.

me:
O_O

later...

friend:
so i guess people are guessing that [gangsters] decided to drop the dead body in front of our hospital.

me:
O_O

later still...

friend:
once there was a guy who had shot someone and the police chased him through our medical center.
and our security sucks. if anything happens just call the police. don't waste time with our security guards.

me:
O_O
someone with a gun was running through the hospital?

friend:
i think he was running through campus. our medical center is about 4 buildings spread out over the land. but then again, we don't have metal detectors so he could have run through the hospital.


and to think that the only exciting in my life is some reckless driver swerving into my lane on the way to work. *protect her going out & coming in, o God*

feline fixation

did you know that 65% of the internet is cat videos and photos? so i made that up. but cats are probably the second most popular subject on the www (no prize for guessing what the first is). i think. and this i'm sure: Maru is has been an internet superstar (here, read this). he should be. and i just want to flood my page with some photos of his royal cuteness. because i can. sigh i'm in love! enjoy! ok back to work! :P

here's an introductory video to this fluffy huggable darlin' of a creature:

food and family

It's rare these days for my family to get together especially with the three siblings working across the straits and can't come back at the same time all the time. I'm so happy and thankful for each time that we do. Tonight was our belated CNY reunion dinner (plus lunch of lo meen made by sis-in-law earlier in the day)... Oh happiness! ^_^

We ended the day with a tea and angpow giving "ceremony" where we'd serve tea to our parents while wishing them good health and longevity and happiness, and get angpow in return. It's a tradition which we've had for yearsss.. and still we'd stammer our way through the well wishes haha..

me - 1, temptation - 0

Some channel is showing 戀愛通告 - the movie Leehom wrote, directed and acted in. Srsly?? I heard the name of his character (杜明漢 Du Ming Han) being called out when I went to the kitchen to get a glass of water. You can imagine how much I want to plop my bum in front of the tv right now. I'm proud to say that I dutifully went back to bed. Maybe it's cos I know I can always watch it again later. But.. I can't believe this is happening! I would like to say that I've been a good girl the past 3 days. I can't deny I've broken out in his songs a few times (this wasn't on the list of prohibition ;) but I managed pretty okay not to google or listen to his songs. Kay, shan't dwell on this. Nitez!

she's the catcher in the rye

i rarely enjoy female singers (prolonged exposure to female voices somehow grates my nerves hahaha!), so when i randomly chanced upon her while youtubing Mayday's songs (they belong to the same record company, B'in Music) and found myself drawn to her songs, i was like ^__^. i like her slightly off, Dido-esque pronunciation (which also means that i can't understand her without lyrics). i can't find much info about her in English as she's a fairly new artist in the Taiwanese music scene. she's 21 according to her wiki page (imo, she looks slightly more mature than that). that's all. and oh i love her hair! :)

btw the title of this post alludes to her other song by the same name as JD Salinger's book, which I've not read but would like to. I guess she likes it a lot because she calls herself that (麥田捕手) on her weibo page too.

anyway in my current state of keeping you-know-who away from my ears (Day 1: doing okay. phew! i even had to make sure his songs are not in my current playlist before i play), may i present to you: Ann 白安 and 是什麼讓我遇見這樣的你 How Is It That I Met Someone Like You What Brings Me To You.

and oh, HAPPY VALENTINE'S!! ^_^


我是宇宙間的塵埃 漂泊在這茫茫人海
偶然掉入誰的胸懷 多想從此不再離開
我是宇宙間的塵埃 微不足道的一種狀態
偶然成了誰的最愛 多想相信永恆存在
I'm a speck of dust in the universe, floating amidst a sea of people
every once in a while, I'd fall into someone's embrace, where I'd no longer want to leave
I'm a speck of dust in the universe: negligible, insignificant
by chance I'd become someone's beloved, and I want to believe in the existence of the eternal

是什麼 讓我遇見這樣的你
是什麼 讓我不再懷疑自己
是什麼 讓我不再害怕失去
在這茫茫人海裡 我不要變得透明
how was it that I met someone like you?
what was it that I no longer doubt myself?
what was it that I no longer fear loss?
in this vast sea of people, I do not want to become invisible

我是宇宙間的塵埃 漂泊在這茫茫人海
若你是我必然的存在 多想從此不再離開
若時間注定要讓你離開 我又該怎麼學會不依賴
I'm but a speck of dust in the universe, floating amidst a sea of people
if you were to be my inevitable existence, then I'd never leave
if time decides to let you go, I should learn not to be dependent of you


塵埃/尘埃 chén'āi - dust
微不足道 wēibùzúdào - insignificant, negligible
状态 zhuàngtài - state of affairs / state / mode / situation




是什麼讓我遇見這樣的你

作詞/曲：白安
編曲：Mac Chew

我是宇宙間的塵埃
漂泊在這茫茫人海
偶然掉入誰的胸懷
多想從此不再離開

我是宇宙間的塵埃
微不足道的一種狀態
偶然成了誰的最愛
多想相信永恆存在

是什麼 讓我遇見這樣的你
是什麼 讓我不再懷疑自己
是什麼 讓我不再害怕失去
在這茫茫人海裡 我不要變得透明

我是宇宙間的塵埃
漂泊在這茫茫人海
若你是我必然的存在
多想從此不再離開

是什麼 讓我遇見這樣的你
是什麼 讓我不再懷疑自己
是什麼 讓我不再害怕失去
在這茫茫人海裡 我不要變得透明

若時間注定要讓你離開
我又該怎麼學會不依賴

是什麼 讓我遇見這樣的你
是什麼 讓我不再懷疑自己
是什麼 讓我不再害怕失去
在這茫茫人海裡 我不要變得透明

(giving up) Leehom for Lent

so i've decided to give up Leehom for Lent. no, i've not gone off my rockers, and yes, i might just wake up tomorrow morning and regret this. *cries*

anyways, i've always thought Lent to be intriguing since i came to hear about it. it's not a common practice in the church where i grew up in as it's usually regarded as more of a Catholic or traditional church thingy, but the thought and action of giving up something that we think we can't live without struck a chord with me, especially around this time as we embrace Easter and focus on Jesus' death on the cross and his resurrection.

basically, the idea is that during Lent (a period of about 6 weeks leading up to Easter, and also the past tense of lend, but not in this case hehe), one would commit to fasting or giving up certain types of luxuries as a form of penitence. i've known friends who've given up coffee or shopping or social media, it can be anything, as long as it means something. this year's Lent starts today, Feb 13 (a day also known as Ash Wednesday).

i was thinking about what would be impossible for me to do without.. and i narrowed it down to two things: Leehom and meat. hehehe.. and i chose the "easier" of the two. if you didn't know, i'm a die-hard meatarian. maybe one day... well, you could add iPhone to the list, but that isn't very practical. plus, having obsessed over LH for a good one year, this is as worthwhile as it gets. wouldn't you agree? :)

anyway, the conditions i've set for this fast are as follows, whereby in the next 40 days, there would be:

1. no googling/youtubing for anything Leehom
2. no listening to any of his songs
3. no checking his daily Weibo updates
4. no checking his Facebook updates

gosh, i don't know what i'm getting myself into, but you know what the best thing is? when I break this fast in 40 days, it would be just in time for his Genting concert! heheheh.. did i mention the concert would fall on Easter this year? hahaha.. i honestly didn't know that when I got the ticket, but maybe this is the reason after all. :) btw i'm not doing this with the mindset that i should be rewarded, or that i should deserve anything.

honestly, i don't know if or how i'm going to last. oh the (first world) pains i have to endure! :) so yeah, it's happening. and i'm writing this blog so that i would be held accountable and won't chicken out. so here goes nothing...

that 90s show

in the past few days, in yet another attempt at procrastinating, i've been trying to put together a playlist of pop songs from the 90s, CLICKETY CLICK HERE to check it out! :)

there's a hodgepodge of songs there, and you could probably sing at least a whole verse of each of these songs, from boybands like NKOTB and BSB, to alt rockers like No Doubt and Green Day, Brit-pop Oasis, flower power Spice Girls, Aussie-pop Savage Garden, and one hit wonders like Fool's Garden and LFO.. can you believe that the 90s ended 13 years ago? O_O

i'll be adding songs as they come to mind.. i still think youtube is pretty cool to be able to do this, so please suffer the ads a bit okay? :) anyway, here's one of my songs which i'm looping today, from the pre-MP3/youtube era where the radio serves as the main and sometimes only source of music: The Wallflowers - One Headlight.

death bed regrets

i'm blogging, and that could only mean one thing right now: I'm procrastinating......

anyways, i'm sure you're pleased that i am, because then you get to read this. haha!

okay, today's inspiration comes from this post: http://www.calebwilde.com/2013/01/five-most-common-deathbed-regrets-2/ (i'm not linking it, due to irrational fear, but don't mind me, just copy and paste that into your browser's URL window, and away you go!) this article talks about death-bed regrets, based on Bronnie Ware’s book, The Top Five Regrets of the Dying – A Life Transformed by the Dearly Departing. it names the five most common ones, here they are with my comments in orange:

1. I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.

“This was the most common regret of all. When people realise that their life is almost over and look back clearly on it, it is easy to see how many dreams have gone unfulfilled. Most people had not honoured even a half of their dreams and had to die knowing that it was due to choices they had made, or not made. Health brings a freedom very few realise, until they no longer have it.”

At this point, I think that I'm for most part true to myself. There are times when I have high expectations of myself, and those were stressful period. And I know that I would go through those kinda times again. I just have to remind myself that sometimes it's all in my head. I don't care so much about what other people expect of me though, unless I care about the person. Life's too short to get upset over people who don't matter. Easier said than done sometimes.

2. I wish I didn’t work so hard.

“This came from every male patient that I nursed. They missed their children’s youth and their partner’s companionship. Women also spoke of this regret, but as most were from an older generation, many of the female patients had not been breadwinners. All of the men I nursed deeply regretted spending so much of their lives on the treadmill of a work existence.”

Haha, I definitely would not have this regret. On the contrary, I actually wish I would work a little harder. Sometimes I dream of the person I could be if I had put in a bit more effort into my work. :\ But I can see how the previous generation would have more of this regret. The expectations (there's the word again!) and the responsibilities that they carried are very different from the ones that we have on our shoulders. A lot of things have changed in just the past 15 years that obliterate a lot of how everyone understands and perceives the world.  But that's a topic for another day.

3. I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.

“Many people suppressed their feelings in order to keep peace with others. As a result, they settled for a mediocre existence and never became who they were truly capable of becoming. Many developed illnesses relating to the bitterness and resentment they carried as a result.”

I don't think I have problem with this much. I mean, I still can be inexplicably timid and shy at times, but I have my outlets -- friends, blog, twitter, etc -- to vent, so I'm good. I don't carry bitterness and resentment for long, and that's one of my fav traits about myself. I feel sad for angry old people. I don't deny that life has been unfair, and in some cases, severely painful for a lot of them, but the longer one hangs on to bitterness, sweetness will eventually taste foul. Again, easier said than done. Oh btw it's too long to explain, but this was exactly what happened to one of the protagonists in Lisa See's Shanghai Girls.  

4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.

“Often they would not truly realise the full benefits of old friends until their dying weeks and it was not always possible to track them down. Many had become so caught up in their own lives that they had let golden friendships slip by over the years. There were many deep regrets about not giving friendships the time and effort that they deserved. Everyone misses their friends when they are dying.”

Another non-issue for me. I kinda accept that I won't be able to keep allll my friends plus I'm not the best kinda friend, so I don't beat myself up about this, because I do stay in touch with those who wants to keep in touch and those I care about. For those who can't be bothered, I've learned not to be bothered by that too. :) I'm sure it's not that they are not bothered, it's just they have made their choices, and I wasn't it. ~boohoo :P

5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.

“This is a surprisingly common one. Many did not realise until the end that happiness is a choice. They had stayed stuck in old patterns and habits. The so-called ‘comfort’ of familiarity overflowed into their emotions, as well as their physical lives. Fear of change had them pretending to others, and to their selves, that they were content, when deep within, they longed to laugh properly and have silliness in their life again.”

Ah, I am guilty of this sometimes. And I have to remind myself that it's okay to be happy. Weird right? But I'm more comfortable with the idea these days. It helps that I'm always quite silly. :) Do I think that I deserve it? Not really, but if it's on your plate, I say just dig in! :)

sooo what about you? what are your thoughts? did you think i was in denial with some of what i was thinking? buzz me and let's chat! :)

i would like to posit that January isn't real. or at least doesn't last 31 days as the calendars suggest. it's probably two weeks long, at most. cos whaddya know? it's gone! time flies when you're having fun, they say, so i guess i must not know that i'm having bucket loads of 'em fun. bleh.

btw, i think i've shared this song before, but here it is again. i chose it for the obvious reason.. :D and also i cos i like it loads. which is also an obvious reason, but not as obvious a reason as i was talking about just two sentences ago. that was the more obvious reason. hahaha.. okay, time to call it a night!

february stars

floating in the dark

temporary scars

february stars

foo fighters :: february stars