a month's worth of thanksgiving

i managed to diligently keep the list for one month, it is a feat in itself. :)
archiving it here as a post, for posterity, and to keep my right column from stretching like my tight budget. :)

# 31 jan :: playing taboo with Z, F & J (incl a lovely lunch @decanter's)
# 30 jan :: 10hr sleep (still not enuf thou)! siew yoke turned out awesome!! *beams*
# 29 jan :: got a new lappie! ^___^ can finally toss the dinosaur out! :)
# 28 jan :: getting to know someone and the delight of finding out things we have in common
# 27 jan :: someone told me i could write. and i got punk'd (not grateful per se, but it made me laugh)
# 26 jan :: catching up w ex-colls, albeit at a funeral
# 25 jan :: crisis mgt seminar
# 24 jan :: being massaged while someone washes my hair (while getting a haircut) + roasted goose for lunch ^__^
# 23 jan :: 13 hours of sleep! i know. ;) meeting ex-colls at my fav teaplace..
# 22 jan :: mamak with new cell group members
# 21 jan :: i wanna say "free lunch" but it'll be food related again. hehe.. mm, wad abt "classmate saying Hi" :D
# 20 jan :: free wi-fi (technically not free-free, it comes at the cost of a drink. win-win! =)
# 19 Jan :: my siew yoke turning out well. yumss.. ^__^
# 18 Jan :: yuppie evening @starbucks -- buy1free1 voucher (thanks, ww! :)
# 17 Jan :: fellowship with friends aft sunday service
# 16 Jan :: beef noodle @sban market (food seems to be the top topic for thanksgiving >_<).
# 15 Jan :: parents
# 14-Jan :: cheap lunch.. chap fun@central. austerity drive - full speed ahead!
# 13-Jan :: theater! watching "Men in Tutus" @KLPAC tonite! :)
# 12-Jan :: encouraging life, testimony --> bro wong's mom
# 11-Jan :: cheap (relatively), yummy lunch --> panmee@aveK
# 10-Jan :: being able to sing! :)
# 09-Jan :: free meals in bangsar! :) brekkie (hse of tang - ps michael) & lunch (delicious-TLL)!
# 08-Jan :: a rainbow in the sky that reminded me that God is in control :)
# 07-Jan :: opportunity to attend night classes at BCM (Life of Christ class starts today)
# 06-Jan :: hubby sending me to work
# 05-Jan :: old friends who called to say Hi!
# 05-Jan :: Janitors at LRT on rainy day drying/mopping the dirty, wet floor
# 04-Jan :: Not having to brave the crowds/the comfort of a car on the way to work
# 03-Jan :: A long weekend before the year starts
# 02-Jan :: Toilets that flush/Sewage system
# 01-Jan :: Clean water from the pipes

this is Mary.
a social outcast. lonely. awkward. misunderstood.
has eyes the color of muddy puddles and a birthmark the color of poo.



and this is Max.
a social outcast. lonely. awkward. misunderstood.
living with Asperger's and addicted to chocolate hotdogs.



Mary and Max are an unlikely twosome. but hit it off they did. in a gawky, heartwarming way. this is one of those shows that's so good i won't - don't want to - say more. i only mention it here so that you would know of it and buy into my non-existent persuasion to wanna see it. a word of caution though, don't watch it if you're feeling depressed. this took a lot from me. no regrets.



[thanks, ps sivin, for the recom]

if it doesn't break your heart, it isn't love
if it doesn't break your heart, it's not enough
it's when you're breaking down
with your insides coming out
that's when you find out what your heart is made of

switchfoot :: yet

my heart is made of..
fairy dust and morning dew
soggy fries and a keg of flat beer
cream colored ponies and crisp apple strudels.

I don't write songs when I'm happy. When I'm content, I take my wife out to dinner, I go surfing. I hang out with my friends and play ridiculous cover tunes when I'm happy. But when I'm depressed, I turn to look for something beyond this life. When I'm lonely and nothing makes sense and the world has lost it's flavor I search for notes and words that usher in a transcendence that soars high above the tragedy. I look for to song to understand the present tragedy in the context of a hope for a better world. I look for words that remind me of a bigger story, for songs that acknowledge the tragedy and move beyond it. I look to artists who give me windows, words that provide for a new life to be birthed within me.

Is it escape? Is it a coping mechanism? Maybe a bit, but I feel that it is much more than that. The song becomes a hopeful defiance. A declaration that the injustices and absurdities of our postmodern existence are not the final downbeat. Music becomes a confession of disbelief in the world that surrounds me. A refusal to believe that these tragedies and horrors are the ultimate end. A refusal to accept the oppression of the Dalit's as anything other than tragic. A nonacceptance that the starving six year old is anything other than tragic. The song is written in defense of a world beyond this one, in defense of Truths that seldom make it to the front page of the newspaper. Words create worlds.

jon foreman, via huffington post

thanks, jon.

Your voice has stilled the raging storms
the wind and waves bow down before
Your still small voice brings hope to all
who wait on You, we'll wait for You
to lead us to the place where You'll restore our souls
and all our earthly strivings come to cease

take from our souls the strain and stress
and let our ordered lives confess
the beauty of Your peace

bright skies will soon be overhead
we'll enter in to Heaven's rest
there'll be no death, there'll be no pain
the things of old will pass away
You'll lead us to the place where You'll restore our souls
and all our earthly strivings come to cease

tim hughes :: beauty of your peace

breathe, ellis, breathe.

hello world.
i take umbrage at your obnoxious arrogance.

I'm on the run
I'm on the ropes this time
where is my song?
I've lost the song of my soul tonight

sing it out, sing it out
take what is left of me
and make it a melody

sing it out, sing out loud
I can't the words to sing
You'd be my remedy

my song, my song
I'll sing with what's left of me

where is the sun?
feel like a ghost this time
where have you gone?
I need your breath in my lungs tonight

sing it out

I'm holding on, I'm holding on to you
my world is wrong
my world is a lie that's come true

and I fall in love
with the ones that run me through
when all along all I need is you

switchfoot :: sing it out

it started as a shy whisper.
then i realised i was already shouting.
and i heard my voice turn coarse.

i can barely hear myself now.

A "Hello World" program is a computer program which prints out "Hello, world!" on a display device. It is used in many introductory tutorials for teaching a programming language. Such a program is typically one of the simplest programs possible in most computer languages. It is often considered to be tradition among programmers for people attempting to learn a new programming language to write a "Hello World!" program as one of the first steps of learning that particular language.

[from wikipedia]

LOL - i rber. :)

i'm so tired.

on blogging
when every experience, seen heard touched tasted breathed, are somehow, deliberately or unintentionally, forcefully or effortlessly, turned into somewhat meaningful sentences once the brain registers it, one is an incurable blogger. such is my life. true story.


on goodbyes
i hate goodbyes, but the longer i live, the more of them i accumulate. i have said farewell to 2 people last week: one who left to an eternal home the other side of this life, and another to the land down under. realising that i won't be seeing their faces on sundays anymore is quite the bleh (wonderful adjective, this).


on immaturity
just because you are stomping your feet like a spoiled brat and that you are wailing louder than a menopausal banshee, you expect the entire history and culture of a whole group of people to cave in to your childish, selfish demand? if i had me a cane, somebody's gotta get hurt real bad. shameless fools.


on life

the length of our days is 70 years
or 80, if we have the strength;
yet their span is but trouble and sorrow,
for they quickly pass, and we fly away.
[psalm 90:10]

it took me 30 years to amass the level of cynicism that i now enjoy. what luxury! actually, i woke up one day in my 30th year to find my husband in bed with me-now, instead of me-then. mmhmm..

"In my twenties I had this feeling of being victorious, I could climb any mountain, I felt invincible – in my thirties, I don't feel that, seeing what's happening to people around you, life is taking its toll," says [Eirik Glambek] Bøe [of Kings of Convenience].

(via the independent)

hahaha, a sentiment i also hear echoing noisily in me, and through those glazed expressions, maybe you. such is life (that is to say: totally incomprehensible. sure we have nice phrases or well-crafted paragraphs for what we have thought it to be, but it is beyond our grasp. brownie points for effort though).

if this life is ALL that there is, i would have long thrown in the towel at the pointlessness of it all. i'm just glad the bigger picture is drawn by One who sees way beyond what our mortal eyes could.


sømething randøm
that diagonal slash in the 'O' is sø cøøl. my surname thenceforth shall be Løke.

watching men pirouetting in tutus was..

.. kinda surreal.

thanks to mandy's friend, le sze, we got our tix for Les Ballet Grandiva's Men in Tutus less than half the price (paid RM60 for a RM130 tix). i think she's a gardnerandwife member, and there were some promo thingy going on. left the office about 7.20pm, grabbed some pretzels for a quick bite, and made our way to sentul. traffic was quite good, but we missed a turn because mandy wasn't paying attention (although she called it being "too engrossed in conversation". hahaha!) met up with her friends (all stylo milo babes 'em -- made me wanna go hide my shapeless hair in the washroom!) and her boyfriend (finally! i've heard so much about you! :) lol..)

ooh, also managed to meet up with chongy for about 2 minutes during the intermission - she was rehearsing for an upcoming musical at KLPAC in March, called "Bernarda Alba". do be a darrrhling and go watch it ok? hehe.. it'll be good. (more info on that later!)

i didn't fall madly in love with the show, but it was good nevertheless. standing, no - jumping en pointe - on those ballerina shoes must have been a b**** (they did say it was), but there were they, doing the almost impossible with such grace and poise. ooh la la!

the men were awesome. but i kept referring to them as "she" and "her" -- a freudian slip of the tongue perhaps? some of the men really looked like a woman, but a buff one at that (and yeah, there was a couple of them sprouting chest hair -- aiyor!! LOL), and i did get confused after a while. haha..

ballet still isn't my cuppa tea, but now i can say that i have watched Swan Lake. hehe.. nevermind where and that it was just Act II -- and i tink they changed the ending too. two other dances we saw were The Dying Swan (performed by a lanky newcomer, and it was quite good.. i think it was my fav act that night) and Beating the Tarantula (yea, u read that right! :P).. the MC ever so kindly introduced each act with anecdotes and brief history, but i couldn't catch the rest.

so yeah, good show, guys! :)



being back in KLPAC, in that theater, Studio 1.. reminded me of the one other act i've caught there: a youth jazz band. really good show that, but it was also the company i had that evening that triggered the memory. good thing i was too tired to watch the entire mental flashback, which is still ongoing. well, new memories will made..

writers are bottom-feeders.

or so this employer thought.

Hi, we\’re currently looking for people who:

1. Can write original articles.
2. Are really confident in their English writing skills.
3. Have US standard grammar.
4. Can keep to deadlines.

Articles must be 100% original. Copy and pasters will not be tolerated here.
There\’s no age limit, as long as you can write well and send in articles
daily, and want to make some side income, you are welcome to apply.

No upfront payment needed. You\’ll be paid RM 5.00 per 500+ word article, payable through a Maybank or CIMB a/c.

via asiaparttime.com


are you kidding me? !@#$%^&*()

if you thought that was a joke, here's another clown from the same site:

Payment per article is RM5 i guess it is really high for just 100 words. Please leave me your email in comment if you are good with those topics and can give me high quality works. Need to be done very urgently. Payment might rise if your article is very good.

-__________________-""""""


bodoh.

srsly, how diff is it to get my name right? it's only a 5-letter word ler. i've also gotten Ellise, Elise, Elis before. those are not me lar. and ya, I've tried correcting someone before but she repeated it in the next email - I gave up.. maybe it's the proofreader in me, or maybe it's misplaced pride, but it irks me.

my hubby gets it worse: Thed, Thadius, Thaddious.. i tink "Tedius" is by far the funniest. hahaha.. but his name is more difficult to spell. interesting that we both have very uncommon names.

but really, there's no need to embark on a full research, it's just averting the eyes by 10 degrees to check the previous email. I would appreciate it if you would just try.. :)

on my way home, pillion riding on my hubby's bike under a soft drizzle, what did i see but a r-a-i-n-b-o-w stretching across the gray sky - an ENTIRE ARCH. i think it was the 1st time in my life that i see a complete semi-circle. it was a mesmerising sight -- i couldn't take my eyes off it. couldn't stop wow-ing either.

after a whole day of fuming over the idiocy that was the arson attacks, the rainbow was the perfect reminder for me that God is in the picture, He's in control, His promises sure. :)

thank you for Your faithfulness, when i'm faithless. i love You.

love your neighbors.. gargh.

I’ve seen too much hate to want to hate, myself, and every time I see it, I say to myself, hate is too great a burden to bear.

somehow we must be able to stand up against our most bitter opponents and say:

we shall match your capacity to inflict suffering by our capacity to endure suffering. we will meet your physical force with soul force. Do to us what you will and we will still love you.

we cannot in all good conscience obey your unjust laws and abide by the unjust system, because non-cooperation with evil is as much a moral obligation as is cooperation with good, so throw us in jail and we will still love you. bomb our homes and threaten our children, and, as difficult as it is, we will still love you.

send your hooded perpetrators of violence into our communities at the midnight hour and drag us out on some wayside road and leave us half-dead as you beat us, and we will still love you. send your propaganda agents around the country and make it appear that we are not fit, culturally and otherwise, for integration, but we’ll still love you.

but be assured that we’ll wear you down by our capacity to suffer, and one day we will win our freedom. we will not only win freedom for ourselves; we will appeal to your heart and conscience that we will win you in the process, and our victory will be a double victory.

:: martin luther king

via jesus needs new PR


mm, this kinda love, i cannot.
not by my own strength or will.

only yours, God.

i don't usually go to bed besieged by murderous thoughts.
but i did last night.
my chest was tight, and heart was throbbing, and i was just so consumed with anger. i knew in my head that i should pray, but i could. when i managed to, i js told God that i cldn't take it. that some ppl wld just drop dead. i told him i couldn't possibly pray sincerely.

i don't usually switch on my computer asking WHAT THE HELL?!?!
but i did this morning.
a church in melawati was burned down last night, with another failed attempt on a catholic church in PJ. (i heard there might be 2 other planned attacks, but can't verify for now)

these attention whores, these bigot maggots (zul's words), what on earth are they doing?!?!?! what on earth do they feed you in your surau?? what could you possibly want out of this?!?


again, whatever lah. i need to chill.

i have heard many voices of reason. i hope these will prevail.

God, what can do we do?

i'm blogging in the midst of organising a staff birthday lunch. it's weird - the clashes of thoughts and emotions.

on the circus surrounding the use of "Allah" by a Catholic publication

I am quite sure now that often, very often, in matters concerning religion and politics a man's reasoning powers are not above the monkey's.

:: Mark Twain

srsly, wadever lah.


on the crawling internet connection, at home and at work
ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.


on readingsometimes i read too fast for my liking. i would make mental note to revisit certain portion, but by the time i finish the book, i am only left with an impression of it. i don't allow for time to ruminate, just wanting to finish it. it's good if i was reading some page turners, but it doesn't work for the kinda books i'm reading now.

i should stop shortchanging myself.


on current read
sebastian faulks is keeping me entertained on my train rides with engleby (the kan cheong part has yet to start), while david foster's celebration of discipline is current bedside reading. finding it to be a good book. hope to write about it some time soon. something that struck me from last nite's reading.

You brood of vipers, how can you who are evil say anything good? For out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks. The good man brings good things out of the good stored up in him, and the evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in him. But I tell you that men will have to give account on the day of judgment for every careless word they have spoken.

matt 12:34b-36

God only knows how reckless i've been in this lifetime.


on something for the year
i was keen to hop on to project 365, where you take a pic a day of anything and anyone for the entire year of 2010, but alas, i don't have a camera phone. my very sturdy sony ericsson w800i has lasted me 4 years so far (on a single battery abused with long hours). amazing lil one that. i won't buy another one til it dies on me, but it leaves me without a camera and you know how much i love taking pics. ah well, can't have it all.

anyways, since i can't take a pic a day.. i've decided to do it a lil differently. check out the last box on the right column.. i'll wait.

yeah, being a generally ungrateful person with a long list of complaints at hand and suppressed anger, i thought a good counter to that would be to.. give thanks. for the little and big things. so that i don't take things for granted. remembering the positive things in life. so yeah.


on weight watch
*munching on carrot cake as i type*

the button on my black pants almost popped out yesterday. holiday pounds are a nightmare.

had a nice lunch at la bodega pavilion just now, courtesy of our designer. the mushroom soup was awesome - totally recommended. :) finished the brownie cos everyone else was too full, as if i wasn't.


on the pantry dictator
my tea lady, she scares me. and for some reason, she doesn't like me. not the first time, not now. is it my asymmetrical face? my estee lauder perfume? my often dazed look? i don't know.

i heard her shouting from the pantry just now.

"siapa buka plastik bag ni? buang sikit sampah mau buka plastik bag baru kah? !@#$%^"

the garbage bag in the pantry is only available when she is around. this means that you can't throw anything in the pantry if u washed your cups/plates etc after 5. which is weird and highly inconvenient.

"haiyer! siapa buat punya??"

dunno who she was complaining to la. i picked up the phone and called my boss.

"she's shouting in the pantry now, about the plastic bag la. i hope she won't find out it was me."

my heart is still beating faster than normal.

found out from her daddy's FB stat that my god daughter Angel started kindergarten this year yesterday (obviously i'm a very good godma lol)! has it been 4 years already? wow..

this is angel with her two lovely godmas on the day she was born (19-jul-06)!
aww.. so adorable ^__^ yeah, the baby too! ;)

i rber the time PS & SP and i making the effort to come together every other week to share, study & pray. we first met at secret recipe, but then moved on to meeting at our homes. i rber the rotation of meeting venues, from my place in sri petaling, to serdang, to cheras..

i rber the prayer book that we kept and so excitedly tick off as we see our prayers being answered.. we prayed for our jobs and subsequent career moves, for our families, for our spiritual walk and church life..

i rber preparing for PS' wedding.. the huge card that we made for her.. i rber suet's story about meeting this guy at a friend's dinner, the same guy who is now her hubby..

i rber the list of "things to do before we turn 30" that we made when we were 26 (i think list in stuck between the pages of rick warren's purpose driven life book which we were going thru together (but never finished! :P)). i rber checking the list at 30.. and having yet to fulfil half that list, among others to bake a cake and to finish the bible from cover to cover.. and some of the things that came thru, like visiting one ASEAN country/year and having a new car (i actually listed 2nd hand, but PTL for a new one ^__^)

i rber noticing that life was getting ahead of us. family, church, business, work.. and we began to meet less.. from every week, to once a month, to during festive seasons, and now, i can't rber when was the last time i saw them -- and PS is already 8 month preggers! i called her today, and she said we must meet again before she delivers. haha, yeah we should.


on the same subject of old friends..

i received a rather unexpected call today (yeah, it's been a good day!) from a friend whom i've not been in contact for a while now. just before christmas, i thought of (it's the thought that counts! =) writing him email but i never finished it -- and now that he got to me 1st, he somehow thinks that gave him the bragging rights -__-". hahaha..

for someone i met on a mission trip once back in my varsity years and then maybe 3 times again after (incl the hi-bye during his wedding), this long-distance friendship has somehow survived the 8 years of email correspondence [ok, maybe 3-4 years of actual writing, the remaining being the gaps. oh, i think email weren't a big thing yet then. yeahh, there was a time when not everyone has an email. yeahh, i am that old. :(]

we chatted for a long while, updating each other on the major stuff ongoing in our lives, trading thoughts and advice, briefly revisiting the past and peering into the future. i'd a blast.


it's nice to have friends whom i rarely talk to but yet could still connect to as if we just did yesterday. :)

Uniltìrantokx*

maybe i had expected a little too much that my virgin 3D movie outing would completely knock me off my socks, that turning to the empty seat beside me in the theater would find me a Na'vi giving me the Vulcan salute or something like that.. but, nopesirree. Avatar didn't do it for me much, that i'm actually kinda indifferent abt it (but 'different' enough to write).

sure the visuals were stunning - esp the luminescent night scenes in the jungle.. makes me want to jump on the next ship and sail to Pandora, run through the thickets to just soak in the majestic shades of Eywa.

i think what dragged it down was the very 2D, tiresome and somewhat preachy storyline. maybe it's because of the industry i'm working in, but the stereotypical greedy, evil corporations vs gentle natives battle bored me. and the girl-meets-boy story, so predictable, so pochahontas -- you could see how it from a mile away. then again, james cameron did write Titanic and didn't we all cringe at the cheesy lines jack and rose had to utter? he's big on small details, and with that, he forgot to pack plot in his lunch bag.

see it if you must, but me prescribe a kettle of bromance instead -- go watch sherlock holmes. again. :)

* that's "Avatar" in the Na'vi language. i dare not risk tongue cramp to pronounce it, but you may try. :)

hello, hat yai.

ye ol' blue sky of hat yai
taken from a tuk-tuk on the way to.. carrefour.

for about 10 seconds after i stepped off the curb at a busy junction in hat yai, the azure sky was directly in my line of sight: i had miscalculated my step resulting in my right ankle, followed by my butt, contacting the tar. the immense pain made it difficult for me to appreciate the glorious view as i more intent to regain my balance. i was rocking on my backside for a good while. meanwhile, my ankle quickly swell to the size of a walnut = serious ouchie :(

long story short, i ended up at the massage place where i was tortured for 2 long hours. it was a horrific experience. :'(

the Wongs documented my torture session (upon my request :P).
was thankful for their moral support throughout what must have been a boring 2 hours watching me groaning and crying out in pain, unless one's a sadist. haha..

when i got back to msia, i went to the local GP who advised me to NEVER GET AN URUT FOR SPRAINED ANKLE. apparently, the swollen area contains some anti-inflammatory stuff which helps in the recovery. an urut will make it worse - my elephantine foot easily testifies to that. i wish i'd known that before blowing 500baht (abt RM50) for the torture. bah!

so there, my first holiday related accident.


p/s: the trip was good otherwise :) [piccies here (for FB frens only)] but i don't think i'd return any time soon. the place quickly grew old, offering little [spent a good few hours in carrefour & tesco. srsly.] other than unsatisfying massages (i prefer Bali over Thai any time!) and delicious but a limited array of street food (mango sticky rice! tom yum kung! siew yoke! dessert! mcD pork burger! =)

hence i wondered why my parents returned to this place time and again, and concluded that it was possibly the most affordable "overseas" trip they could afford back then, hence the sentimentality. air asia effectively eliminate that by expanding our choices by hundreds of miles. my personal favorite ASEAN city is Hanoi (Singapore is a de facto first =) - which i think offers more in term of culture and food, and even tourist kitsch. =)

with the wongs & their extended family, outside their Juru (Pg) home
they have graciously offered our heads a place to rest the night before we made our journey up north

i like this pic of us :)
taken at the thai customs [easily the most lax i've ever gone thru. stamping your passport seemed like an option than mandatory. no kidding.]

hat yai, thailand
dec 27-30, 2009

h00t!

i like it when recording artists put an effort into their album covers (which is one reason why despite switchfoot's the beautiful letdown being one of my fav albums, i still do not own it. the copy i have now is someone's bootleg copy :P i have their subsequent albums though :P) my personal fav is mae's the everglow. :) methinks an aesthetically appealing cover makes owning the album all the more special.. :)

album cover :: sleeping at last - storyboards
(nicked from the pirates)

i bought a pair of owl earrings from hatyai. and a pair of cats too. =) i love earrings. if you are stumped as to what to buy me (should the need for gift-giving arise), just get me a pair. =)

the ones i have are not these, but something like them la.
(i think i'll wear them to watch night service tonite :)

i might be outgrowing owl city, but his peter pan persona still draws me to him. i am forever grateful for his electro-pop tunes with imaginative (silly? :) lyricism that has lifted my soul during some of the darkest days of my life. you might not know how songs you composed in the basement of your owatonna home has made the day of someone half a world away who was struggling with her identity and self-worth, so from the bottom of my heart: thanks, dude! :)

for more owlism, stalk him on twitter.

update @1-Jan 2:53am ::
tim got me owl city's ocean eyes for xmas!! whee! ^_____^ thanks, timmmm! =)

Note: This was published on Dec 31, 2009 7:05PM.. I'm moving it to Jan 1, 2010. Just because. ;)

¡feliz año nuevo!

happy new year, peeps. and welcome to my new virtual home. if something looks familiar, it's cos this has the same layout as my prev home, just wayyy greener (it's my other fav color, other than black.. and purple.. and..)

i was deciding between purple and green, and settled on green cos i kinda like the backgrd pic above.. =) also, blogger has very limited designs to choose from and that the free ones floating about always have some kinda annoying bugs hence i've decided to stick to the true-and-tested-but-boring designs.

so, about this blog.

sillellis is the palindromic form of my name if you can't see that already, with "sille" read to sound like 'silly' which is what i am. stories of my folly would make you feel real good about yourself, but i won't share 'em all here. need to maintain some form of dignity, whatever that meant.. ;)

work in progress is an acknowledgment that God is not done with me yet. it's WIP unto death. or until he comes again. whichever. :) i don't know how others do it - living - but i'm fumbling my way through.. but not unaided, of course - life's too perilous a journey to be travelled alone.

anyways, as i was putting this blog together, i'd thoughts along these lines:

for we know in part and we prophesy in part, but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears. when I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. when I became a man, I put childish ways behind me. now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.

1 cor 13:9-11

i hope this blog will chart my leaving of my childish way and growing up.. or would it continue to record my puerile deeds? aish. time will tell.

so anyways...

it's the new year!

2010. 20_1o! it's very crazy and very cliche, but time flies!!! doesn't matter if i was busy or idle, time just went merrily went on its way. catching up is hard to doooo..

oh well.

i'm expecting 2010 to be a tough year. on the horizon are bucketload of changes, grueling "holding a mirror to the face" exercises, a mess of frayed nerves and knots of clenched fists. why so serious? *cue eerie laugh* ... cos life's like that!

i'm reposting this song, cos i don't really know another song abt the NY (other than switchfoot, which i've already used twice), and also, it's kinda what i'm feeling: kinda flustered about what's lost, yet indifferent about what's going on. maybe not.

so this is the new year
and i don't feel any different
the clanking of crystal
explosions off in the distance

so this is the new year
and I have no resolutions
for self assigned penance
for problems with easy solutions

death cab for cutie :: the new year

Note: This was published on Dec 31, 2009 2:17PM.. I'm moving it to Jan 1, 2010. Just because. ;)