of absence and aging

ah, this song.. what can i say..? i love it. haha.. it's a sad song though. erm, yeah. verbose i am this evening. heh.

You're Not Here 你不在 has been with me a long time. frankly, since i'm losing grip on reality and relativity, "a long time" is rather subjective.. but it's been around la. *pregnant pause* you know, i saw this image on 9gag.com today, and applying it to myself, it goes something like this: i am a (late *ahem*) 70s baby. then we went through the 80s, 90s, 00s, and now we are here in the 10s..... if you didn't catch my drift, what i'm really trying to say is: I FRIGGING LIVED THROUGH FIVE DECADES!!!!! o_O

the wailing banshee is on the loose!! lock the gates!! release the hounds!! **AIEEEE!!!! **

T___T yes, i am aware that that was a warped perspective of time, and i apologise for going berserk.. as you can see, ladies and gentlemen, yours truly is NOT one who is going to age gracefully! someone's got to drag me into the next few decades kicking and screaming and scratching and pulling. i have no idea why the idea of aging scares me so. i suspect it's the fear of immobility...

...

where were we? paiseh.. oh the song. as i was saying: i like it very much. um yeah. words are scarce tonight eh?


当世界只剩下这床头灯　你那边是早晨已经出门
我侧身感到你在转身　无数陌生人　正在等下一个绿灯
when all that's left of the of world is the bedside lamp
over at your side, dawn has just came
i could feel from my side that you are tossing about
countless strangers are waiting for the light to turn green

一再错身彼此脆弱的时分　不过渴望一个吻的余温
我关了灯　黑暗把我并吞　
again and again we find ourselves caught in each other's weakness (this is a best-guess; i can't figure out the meaning of the line yet)
only to hope the warmth and passion of a kiss
i switch off the lights and let the darkness swallow me whole

“你不在　当我最需要爱　你却不在 无尽等待像独白的难捱
你不在　高兴还是悲哀　你都不在
我受了伤再偷偷好起来　但你不在　不在”
you're not around, when i needed love the most, you're just not here
i'm endlessly waiting like the pain of a monologue
you're not here, in my times of joy and grief, you're just not there
i was in pain and eventually healed, but you were never around

时间再按下许多次快门　沉默里听见转动的秒针
一个人吃饭这个凌晨　孤单一人份　你低声说你有别人
no matter how many times i press the shutter button
in the silence i could hear the secondhand making its round
i'm eating alone before daybreak, cutting a solitary figure
in a low voice you told me that you have someone else

我的话筒只有自己的体温　怎样认真也不一定成真
你说得对　我不得不承认
my receiver/microphone only has my own temperature
no matter how earnest i am, it doesn't become reality
i have to concede that you were right

那些摇摆　我都明白　都明白
但你不在　爱已不在　不在
i understood what all the swaying was about
but you're not here, love is not around

“你不在　当我最需要爱　你却不在
一个人分饰两角的恋爱
你不在　高兴还是悲哀　你都不在
像空气般不存在的存在
再没有痕迹的爱　你不在
当我需要你的爱　你不在”
you're not around, when i needed love the most, you're just not here
this is the kind of love where one person is playing two roles
you're not around, in my times of joy and grief, you're just not here
existing like the intangible air
in a love that leaves no trace, you're not around
when i needed your love, you're not there


today's list of new words
侧身 cèshēn - sideways
余温 yú wēn - sweltering heat
并吞 bìngtūn - swallow up, merge
分饰 fēn shì - play different roles



当世界只剩下这床头灯　你那边是早晨已经出门
我侧身感到你在转身　无数陌生人　正在等下一个绿灯
一再错身彼此脆弱的时分　不过渴望一个吻的余温
我关了灯　黑暗把我并吞　

“你不在　当我最需要爱　你却不在
无尽等待像独白的难捱
你不在　高兴还是悲哀　你都不在
我受了伤再偷偷好起来　但你不在　不在”

时间再按下许多次快门　沉默里听见转动的秒针
一个人吃饭这个凌晨　孤单一人份　你低声说你有别人
我的话筒只有自己的体温　怎样认真也不一定成真
你说得对　我不得不承认　

“你不在　当我最需要爱　你却不在
无尽等待像独白的难捱
你不在　高兴还是悲哀　你都不在
我受了伤再偷7偷好起来　但你不在”

那些摇摆　我都明白　都明白
但你不在　爱已不在　不在

“你不在　当我最需要爱　你却不在
一个人分饰两角的恋爱
你不在　高兴还是悲哀　你都不在
像空气般不存在的存在
再没有痕迹的爱　你不在
当我需要你的爱　你不在”